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Show SEEKER FINDS CUPBOARD BEAR Hubbie wistfully pedals organ. Outraged missionar}'-Reese "Old Mother" Hubbard. He is an enthusiastic worker for the Friars. On return from pious exile, Old Mother expected to be greeted as a master saint with loud huzzahs, cheering, and other salutatory raspings. But the inmates of the little world on the hill did not even rattle the bars when the round-faced going-grey-headed-churchman rode into the campus on his 1931 rail, F. O. B. Detroit, 40 cents. His one big ambition is that Delta Phi become a social leader. That is why beneath his tinsel face lies an aching tonsil. So Old Quasimodo Reese rings the bells of Notre Hubbard, as the twilight softly sinks about him and he slowly sinks about the twilight, till at last they join in sinking, "Love's Old Swe-eet Sonk." Thus his two great ambitions-to have a moustache and to have a date, will never materialize. He consoles himself, however, by spying on smokers for Dr. Pack, by collecting autographed missionary farewell programs, and by sending beards to canary beards. MUSCLE MASS MULLINER MAULS MOLLS Sissy rents out ears for snowslioes. She-wants-me-but-she-can't-have-me-Mulliner, revealed, last week, the secret of his sensational climb to the social pinnacle. Flapping his gigantic ears absently in the wind like the handles on a loving cup, this big 0. B. boy from the Phi Delt house exuded personality all over our Utonian News gatherer. "I never comb my hair," barked Mulliner with his usual modesty, "because without this well-planned defense, I would be continuously overwhelmed by countless beautiful women." Students sympathize with Mulliner because they realize that these pleasure-seeking sirens, when arrayed in such alarming numbers, can become exceedingly irksome. Mulliner, who is by nature a bilk boy, does not seem to realize that the hordes of gals who besiege him are not after his money, but merely seek him for the inimitable charm of his own sweet selfy-welfy. In spite of occasional setbacks, Mulliner comes through with the statement that "I'd rather have my masterful personality, than be so darned good-looking." Envying him h i s wealth of desirable traits, we pass lightly on in a blue funk with spotlight and wire wheels. 335 |