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Show MELON-HEAD SELLS TO SCIENCE Collegians were horrified last month to find a large percentage of the students wearing huge bandages over mashed right hands. Investigation disclosed that the effeminate Frank Jensen, pale-faced Business Manager of the Pen, had been up to his old handshaking tactics. Jensen had somehow been bamboozled into the impression, through the columns of the Chronicle, that his handgrasp smacked of exceeding heartiness, masculinity, and virility. As a result he has tried hard to live up to this rumor. (Gad, Agatha, leave this rumor I scream!) Jensen's first push into the limelight was not a kick in the face by a mule, but was a skillful tugging of strings by ex-Pen Editor, Wally Stegner. Without this opportunity, Brown-of Harvard Jensen would probably still be eating his lunch under musty lockers with conservative no-accounts, which type annoyingly usurps all Here is ix field of pumpkins, children. Puzzle: Find Jensen's head. SKULL Chump reaches acne of career. available space during Park Building lunch hours. However, this not being the case, Mr. Jensen has assumed an important role in student affairs; a role, according to Jensen's own statement, second to none. Sigma Nu, with its great capacity for gobbling up left-overs, gulped Jensen. "You only get out of a fraternity what you put into it," said Jensen; whereupon he strode into the Utonian office, parked his skinny frame on the Pen desk and acclaimed himself Business Manager of the Pen for countless years to come. Along with other doltish business students, Frank has borne the burden of Alpha Kappa Psi. In being the backbone of an organization like Alpha Kappa Psi he has proved that he is a hound for punishment and has no sense of real values. Not the type of a man who could distinguish between matters of major and trivial importance, Jensen continues to play marbles as he goes about his Pen duties. "Have you ever ridden in a steeplechase?" "Yes. I'm so good they always let me drag the steeple." |