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Show BEDROOM TYCOON CAUGHTIN SELF-LOVE NEST!Police found culprit Kelly skulking in middle bureau drawer, which he had furnished as hideout and love-nest.James (what-a-man) Kelly (Cheers), winner of Utonian Joe-college contest (Hisses), was recently appointed president of the Pat-your-back-grab-your-hand-between-each-period Club.His freshman year at Utah brought him way out in front of his fellow student as an exhibition of incoordination in a cheer leader, striated muscles far ahead of his blank mind. Came fraternity rushing. Kelly rushed himself all fraternities, but was forced to reject all bids because of ineligibility. Came vicious politics with enigmatic entanglements. It was "Kelly, Kelly, Kelly" from one end of the campus to the other, according to Kelly and his brother, Arthur. But after election the blatant Kelly horn was mute in defeat.Self-pushing, chauvinistic Kelly still thrusts his grinning countenance and overbearing personality into all affairs which are not his business. This gives rise to the pertinent question, "Why must the likes of Kelly exist to dampen college?"Kelly prides himself on his ability to play volley-ball, despite the fact that a volley-ball is never seen on the street after nine o'clock. Pre-medics claim his still-existent period of child rickets to be the result of a broken left spoke on his aunt's new Chevrolet, broken in the act of jumping a ricket-fence.Jim (has-anybody-here-seen) Kelly,turning down Alpha Chi mumble-peginvite.Frosh: Sorry I can't come to dinner at your fraternity house tonight. I have another appointment.Greeks: "That's too bad. Well, drop in sometime during the year.Then there was the street cleaner's daughter who swept me off her feet.350 |