OCR Text |
Show MUG DERIDESMODERN GORILLAA statue of Liberty, a twentieth century Joan of Arc, is Pi Phi's Emmeline Woolley. Fuzzy red hair streaming Medusa-like in the wind, Emmy rants triumphantly throughout the campus. "Why is she so happy?" ask the rant-eaters. The Pi Phi girls had taken another promising sister by the chapter. So promising was she that she had promised more people than some people.Our reporter found Miss Woolley in an intimate pose, nibbling contentedly on a piece of stale Zwiebach. On being questioned as to why she never went out with the boys, Miss Woolley said, "I'd rather scare little children and haunt houses. To some girls this would seem odious, but it is my creed, my religion, my life, my love, my all."It is alleged that this lil reskil was recently arraigned on the charge of contributing to the school delinquency. To free her from this charge, glib-tongued Pi Phis went through their usual routine. This was the nineteenth consecutive acquittal secured by the Pi Phis. How long, plead offended students, will such people roam unfettered about our campus?Boy Scout creed given by patrol-leader, Bus J ames of Troop 6%:A scout should be: Drunken, foolish, red-eyed, knave; ignorant, dissipated, underfed slave; loud-mouthed, toothless, shallowbrained, crude; hock-nosed, tattle-tailed, pessimistic, rude.Emmy as she looked before debating the question: "Where is the Gorilla of Yesteryear, and What of It?"Versatile Emmy tools tram homeward in sensational fashion, shattering all horse car records.Emmy goes for decanter on herfavorite Saint Bernard, of whichshe has a complete stable.In Washington they tell the story of a golfing clergyman who had been badly beaten on the links by a parishioner thirty years his senior and had returned to the clubhouse rather disgruntled."Cheer up," his opponent said- "Remember, you win at the finish--you'll probably be burying me some day.""Even then," said the preacher, "it will be vour hole."348 |