| OCR Text |
Show HOSE-NOSED MAESTROFLOGS GLUBSGhost-writer for Mencken, Nathan, Sinclair Lewis and Clark.Blubbering like a pet walrus and frothing at the ears, "Magpie" Lambourne raked two children and a right rubber from his matted eyebrows and bawled hoarsely."Why, oh why?" shrieked the mountebank Lambourne, as he dived under the radiator with eyebrows spread wide, "don't they choose the best men for the Beehive Club-me, for instance?"So saying, he stuffed another handful of glubs into his mouth and bleated again. "Thank Goodness, I'm a Sig. Hurrah for Sigma Chi and the girls of our eating glub!"The Sigma Chi journal, published on the campus, leads us to believe that "Red" Clark, one of "Flit's" sisters, is the logical successor to Charles Evans Hughes, Charles M. Schwab, Charles St. Vincent Millay, and Charles Capone.Screeching headlines throughout the year flaunted Clark's name until students became nauseated with pro-Clark sentiment. And behind it all was the sleek-eared motorman- the laddie known as "Luke."Throughout the year, all fraternities were panned, with the careful exclusion of Sigma Chi, which may or may not or may have been an oversight. Lambourne, as always, shielded his lodge with the fidelity of a patriarch lest the fair name of the Kentucky derby tong at this institution be smirched. Sigma Chi will not soon see the like of this man Lambourne (Cheers) to which the entire school breaths a benign "Transfer, please!"Lambourne at his desk, bouncing rubber ball.Well, to Get Warmed Up "Have you heard the contortionist song?" "No, I haven't heard the contortionist song.How does the contortionist song go?'""This is how the contortionist song goes:Give yourself a pat on the back."337 |
