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Show Moon - 244 "Blue?" "Yes. That's sometimes a sign. You might be pregnant." "Might be?" "Well, it would be a little unusual, for I think you've begun menopause. It's early, but not unheard of at your age. That's what the hot flashes are, the hormones being withdrawn from your system. Td like to draw some blood, check for positive pregnancy. If you are-and it does happen like this sometimes-there'll be some risks, but probably nothing to worry about." My thoughts whirl with this clash of information. Cape of Good Hope. How can I be at both an ending and a beginning? What shall I hope for? What shall I dread? I feel like someone under water, unable to see very well. I long for Josh at my side so I can ask him, "Shall I give my blood to this man?" I stand up a little shakily and say to the nice doctor. "I think I'll wait till I get home to my husband." I toss and turn on the dirty mattress in my old room, filled with confusion. I haven't called Josh, for I have nothing clear to report, and I'm filled with unreasonable rage at him, as if no matter what the truth is, it's his fault somehow. Just as I finally begin to doze, the door to my room squeaks open and someone pads across the floor. It's Lisa. She slips onto the mattress under my sheet and puts her arms around me. Mama spoon. She seems not to be wearing anything. A thrill of shocked astonishment goes through me. "I think you love me," she whispers. |