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Show Moon - 86 school. But first, we'd visit the cottage, the beginning and end of all our journeys. Anne had persuaded James to build a fire in the cottage fireplace even though it was summer, even though it was daytime. The flames went down on the logs like tongues. The thin branches underneath recoiled from the heat like startled hands. Soon they will arrive, she thought, and I will show them that I am fine. Through the window she watched Joy doing a handstand, lopping her legs over in an impossible arch to tap the top of her head with her toes. Even at seventeen, Joy was sometimes compelled by smooth lawns to cavort like a dog turned loose in a park. The boys stood awkwardly on the grass, not wanting to lose their tenuous masculine composure. Beyond the lawn was the lake, almost hidden by clumps of leaves that flashed metallic glints from their underside like signals for help. In the distance were the soft, tree-covered Catskills. I'm not ready for this, she thought. She held her hands out to the fire. But then maybe most of living is doing things one is not ready for, because we are never caught up to ourselves. We are hardly back from Germany and look how complicated it all is already. I am barely recovered from the hysterectomy and now there's this other thing because of being dizzy and a little weak around the ankles. The German neurologist had measured her with his eyes when she'd walked for him. She'd laughed as she tipped unsteadily as if to reassure him that she was fine. He'd scraped the bottoms of her feet in a funny way, made little humming sounds deep in his throat. "What are you looking for?" she'd asked. |