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Show Moon - 224 against too many people to meet, too much standing. I decided to have him give me away to Josh. I know that's saying he owned me in the first place. Kate Millet would have been horrified. But I did it as a parting gift to him, for I never stopped trying to love him. I couldn't, for I thought it would mean the end of hope for my own life. I thought the wedding ritual would work a magic: He'd give me away, and Td get to believe I was finally his real daughter. It ended up sort of hilarious, because after he'd marched me up to Josh, he stood beside me, bewildered. "I don't know where I'm supposed to go next," he said, for we'd forgotten about that in the pre-ceremony instructions. For one long moment- which was so terrible that hysterical giggles burst from my throat-he stood there as if he were my groom. Finally Kate came up and led him off to the side. It isn't fair that James got such a good second wife who tended him with devotion; whereas you, who brought us into the world, brought us tea when we were sick, held our heads when we threw up, rubbed our aching shins, you deserved, didn't get. But who am I to know? Maybe at some stolen moment when Alice wasn't around, James took your hand and said, "I'm sorry. I should have believed in you. I've been wrong." And maybe you closed your eyes, rejoicing, and said, "Thank you, dear. That's good." A few miles into my car journey to the cottage, I pull off at a truck stop and call Josh to tell him about meeting David. He shouts with delight and says, "Now you've done what you set out to do!" |