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Show Moon - 221 tried to pull her to his lap. The familiar horror rose in her heart and then she felt very tired. She disengaged her hand from his and went into the bedroom to sleep in the twin bed next to her mother where she knew he wouldn't follow. Joy slept heavily into the morning, a sleep thick with dreams that kept her under. Through this dreaming, which was filled with pools of green water clogged with weeds, she heard her mother move restlessly on her bed, but Joy slid deeper into the water. She heard a soft thud, as if something had fallen to the floor, and opened one eye. She saw her mother crawling. She heard her whisper, "Michael." Joy labored out of her watery dreams, filled with dread. She got up, put on her robe, walked over to the other bed, half-thinking she must have dreamt about her mother crawling on the floor. Something rubber and wet, still screwed into the tube, lay on the sheet. She hurried to the adjoining bathroom. Her mother had somehow managed to get herself onto the toilet. She grinned up at her daughter and said, "Feels good." Joy understood that this was her mother's little adventure. She also knew that she had failed in her duty. She thought she ought to see if the inside part of the catheter was still in place, and then it would be all right. Her father need never know. It would be their secret. She did not know the technicalities of this, so she bent down to feel, put her hand there. There. She could not believe she was doing this. She was prepared for revulsion, or worse. What she found was a gentle little nest: astonishing softness like down and velvet and silk. It was as if some mystery had been brought to light, some dark secret made wonderful. Sparrows and squirrels. It was all right. It was lovely. Her mother smiled up at her and said, "David." |
