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Show Moon -161 Maybe you'd have gotten over your little problem with money much sooner." Lee lifted a shoulder to him, looked injured. The old pain and loneliness began to descend, and I wanted to restore us to the good sense of connection. "Caleb, you sound like Philip Wylie," I said with a little laugh. "Mom this and Mom that." "Mom was weak. She should have stood up to Dad." I leaped to my feet, nearly shouting. "Let me tell you something about Dad." My brothers sat like river stones cracked open by a fire. The roach burned unheeded in the ashtray. They stared up at me, waiting. I hesitated, made self-conscious by their sudden attentiveness. I was tired of my brave secret, but this wasn't the time. I wanted, for one thing, not to risk losing their good opinion of me. I sank back down to the floor, said lamely, "I'm sorry, but you know what Dad is like." Lee got up and put on a Dylan record. I was appalled at what Td almost done. Never again that I know of has Caleb said something unkind to Lee or to anyone else. The next day, he drove me to Dulles Airport, and as we stood on the terminal curbside, he touched my shoulder and said, "I think I understand." Cape of Good Hope. In a family, love and hate rip together. You can't stay. You can't leave. And always, soaring up like sailfish, come new chances, new bulletins for love calling us outside of ourselves, calling us someplace new. |