| OCR Text |
Show VNIVERSITY OF VTAH HAMLET Omelet Rendered by Swift & Company Ham enters swinging empty whiskey flask: Ha! Ha! see what I have for our museum, a relic of the barberus days when hair tonics and lemon extracts were permitted in Utah. Egg: And whither has thou been to find such evidence of the corruptness of our ancestors? Ham: Oh! Ha! 'Twas in the Beta's cellar that such was found. Egg: Forsooth and wouldst thou withhold something from me? What is that which thou hast in thine vanity case? Flap: Jeat? Jack: No Jew? Flap: Aunt Lucy's beanery ahoy! Jack (groaning): Well if I must I must. Scene changes to Cafeteria-enter Flap and Jack, pick up trays, knives, forks and shovels for dessert. Flap: Have some beans. Jack {not wishing to hurt Aunt Lucy's feelings')-. Yes I suppose so. {Takes soup and beans). Flap: Have some spuds? Jack: Never did care for nails, I have an iron constitution Flap: Have some chocolate? Jack {remembering Utah's Legislature): Nope, never cared for strong drink. Ham: Oh 'tis something of which I am not acquaint. Egg: Forwith let us examine it Ham : Ah! Ha! does it not say hereon, "Camel"? Egg: Aye and what does such mean? Ham (producing pocket dictionary): It says here, a race of animals found on the Sahara; also a form of weed now extinct in Utah. Ham: Oh! Ha! Egg: Uh! Huh! CURTAIN FALLS Bitter weeping in audience. by SKILLET Flap: Take some nut bread? Jack: Nope, my teeth are bad. Flap: Try some pie. Jack: Doctor says not to wear rubbers, make my feet swell. Flap: Have some Jeliwell? Jack: Think I will, you can see thru that. Flap: Have some Ice Cream? Jack: Never drink water, thank you. Silence prevails Approach cashier with hands in air and wait silently while she rifles pockets Pick up tray and walk mournfully to table, Act closes with ghostly groans from Jack, and ambulance backing up to door. Wild applause from* audience. Page 256 |
