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Show All the Variables & Other Love Stories 142 "You'll sell me out to him first chance you get, I know it!" she said in my ear. She got a crazy look and her tone was sharp as ice-water. I could feel her blinking against my cheek. Her purse was slung over one shoulder and she took something small from it and pressed a square cellophane disc I knew for a condom, without seeing, into my hand. She loosened her grip on my tie, the very one she'd given me, and I stood up straight trying to recompose the suit Uncle Boss handed down to me. It was my only suit and I didn't want it getting rained. I said, "I know what we been doing is sinful and if the Bishop knew, he'd be lit. It's not okay even if it is only pretend. I knew but went along anyway, not cause I's weak or tempted, but cause I wanted to. It makes me feel good kissing you. And I know it's not okay for me to cleave to you even if it is in the other place. I searched a bunch through the scriptures and I can't find it nowhere. I'm not ignernt as you think!" Sister Hearthway studied what I'd said and for a moment I thought she'd been reintroduced to good sense. "Even the sun-tea you like so much is forbidden according to the Bishop," she said. "He knows through personal revelation. I have to hide the tea from him. But I won't anymore. I'll drink sun-tea when I like, and he'll have to judge me for it. And he'll be right to do it, but I don't care. Righteous or damned, I'm miserable. I want to be free of eternal glory but I can't do it myself. I need your help. I have to do something irrevocable, something to cut me off. You have to," she said. "If you love me you'll have to do this for me." She hitched her dress up on her back, pulled her garments to her knees, got from her purse a small jar of lotion, put it to her backside, and leaned against the counter. There was barely room enough in the kitchenette for the two of us doubled over like that. |
