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Show All the Variables & Other Love Stories 120 our customers to understand what's available. We rebuttal their reasons for saying 'no' because they usually want one, they just need that extra push before they'll commit." In the early days of my job hunting I had a very virtuous approach. I wasn't willing to do anything that wouldn't let me sleep with a clear conscience, but I didn't find anything. Where there isn't a demand, there isn't a supply. My moral fiber is weakening, though. Now I think of myself as Judas and not Jesus. I wonder how much thirty pieces of silver would be worth in U.S. currency. I sit at the kitchen table drinking coffee and smoking cigarettes, reading and rereading my auto insurance statement. It was due today. Tomorrow I will wake up with nowhere to go and look for a job in an uninsured car. Every time I pass a cop, I'll hold my breath. I'll drive five miles-per-hour below the speed limit. I can't afford a violation for driving an uninsured vehicle. I can't even afford groceries. I have eighty dollars in cash and a credit card that's been cut off because I haven't made a payment in four months. I've had that money going on three months now because I'm afraid to spend it, that I'll spend it on the wrong thing. My car's six months overdue for an oil change and probably a tune-up and I doubt it has another six months left in it. I want a job. I want thirty pieces of silver. Matt tells me his brother just got his Master's Degree in Psychology. He's working at DirecTV for six-fifty an hour and his student loans are starting to come due. I tell him I just want to earn a living without hating my life in the process. I tell him I just want Greta to be proud of me. He says human beings shouldn't have to "earn" their right to live. I wonder if there was ever a difference between democracy and capitalism. Matt thinks our situation is similar to France's shortly before the revolution. He's frustrated |
