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Show All the Variables & Other Love Stories 128 I spent all my leisure pondering books. Some were spiritual like the scriptures and The Miracle of Forgiveness, but some were secular, too, like Of Mice and Men and A House Made of Dawn assigned from school. Alls I did was mind my own business but Sharlee couldn't be satisfied; she caught me pondering and called me a dork. I told her that made no sense, since dork means a whale'spenis, in case she didn't know. She got all offended and tattled to Aunt Davina that I was vulgar and talking dirty to her. I pointed out it was Sharlee who said it; I only told her what it meant. I called her a strifemonger, self-righteous, spiteful, a bearer of false witness, and accused her sly-like with Shakespeare, saying, "Thou be as chaste as ice, as pure as snow, thou shan 't not escape calumny!" Sharlee ran red with shock probably because until now I'd always spoken to her with the utmost respect, as if she deserved to be addressed like a lady. Sharlee was unfathomably ignernt and had no idea the truths I'd stacked against her, but even an idiot like her could tell she'd been assaulted, and she slapped me. I said, "But if one smites thee on the right cheek, turn him the other also." Sharlee, my nemesis, was smart enough to see I'd beaten her at her own game, and crumbled on the floor bawling like a girl. Uncle Boss took her away to be comforted, and Aunt Davina gave me a good talking to. She said she understood it must be hard for me to come away from everything I knew about the world to Utah where the way of life was so different and I didn't have any friends, but I would have to learn to love Sharlee like cousins. Aunt Davina said she knew I'd have a rough go of it ever since she and my mom were sisters together in Texas, and Mom took an uncouth tracker for a husband, and lit out for Truth and Consequence, |