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Show All the Variables & Other Love Stories 81 The stray cat lying on his porch had been dead several days. It had the same washed out look she had. The meat was bloodless and gray even around the tooth-marked wound on its shoulder. Popsicle locked the door and called Travis, the vocalist for his band, Mountain Meadows Massacre, to come get him because Popsicle didn't have a car. But Travis had told him he was high and the woman was just a transient and stop being such a pussy. Popsicle had to call Kell to get him. The woman returned for her meal while Popsicle waited for Kell to show up, and he had to chase her off again. Kell found Popsicle half-fetal and quaking against the backdoor. Popsicle was so pissed off with Travis, he quit Mountain Meadows Massacre and started playing rhythm guitar for Kell and Anthony and Feste, even though they hadn't known they were looking for a rhythm guitarist. A three-to-one vote elected this anecdote as the official story to be handed down to posterity of how Popsicle joined the band, although Feste wanted everyone to know that fabricating official versions to ensure your status as grindcore in the eyes of posterity was definitely not grindcore. Drinking on the Roof and Other Misdemeanors Feste wasn't his given name either. His given name was Norman but that wasn't grindcore at all. Feste enjoyed beating up assholes named Norman. Beating people up was super grindcore so long as you didn't beat people up just to be grindcore. There always had to be an extraneous reason to justify violence, like being named Norman for instance. That's why when Anthony threw an empty bottle of Beefeater off the roof and |
