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Show All the Variables & Other Love Stories 68 "I'm not hungry." She was ravaged by bitterness. She could see the difficult life she set herself up for. Perhaps Zach was serious about what he wanted and perhaps they were compatible sexually, socially, philosophically, parentally, and in a myriad of other ways necessary for successful partnership. Perhaps not. It would cost something to find out. Cara wasn't sure she wanted children, but certainly she wanted love. Could anyone be fulfilled without love, she wondered. She pictured going her whole life without a consistent male presence and shuddered. She would have to risk herself again sooner or later or die unmade. No way around it. No one could have heat in them without being scalded. If she would have to take a chance on someone, why not Zach Hutson? That evening Zach didn't come to dinner. The six of them had plans to eat together in the hotel restaurant. Mrs. Hutson excused Zach's absence by speculating his leg was probably acting up. Cara knew better. Her refusal to have lunch had taken the wind out of him. She wasn't going to let it make her feel bad, though. If Zach wanted to behave like a child and let it rain his vacation it was his decision. She needed the break anyway. Zach was grateful for the break. He told his parents to go down without him, he wasn't up to it. His knee wasn't bothering him but he really didn't want to show his face defeated at the dinner table. He preferred to feel sorry for himself in solitary. He flipped through the television channels and rummaged a copy of the local paper but nothing interested him. |