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Show The Rime of the Utah Engineer( With Apologies to Coleridge)A Utah Engineer meeteth three instructors on their way to English I union session and detaineth one.The Utah Professor is spellbound by the eye of the Engineer and constrained to hear his tale.The Engineer relateth how he failed to pass chemistry.The Utah Professor heareth the sweet strains of "The Sun of the Youth of Utah" and longeth to go and listen to choir practice, but the Engineer con- . tinueth his tale.The Engineer seek-eth an easier course.He is sorely afflicted with themes;Also with conferences.{Continued on page 172)XT was a Utah Engineer, And he stoppeth one of three "By Beckstrand's thrice-erected tower, Now wherefore stopp'st thou me ?The Union Session meets today,The classes wait within; So eager they to hear my speech,May'st hear the merry din."He holds him by his buttonhole,"There was a course," quoth he. \ \"Hold off! unhand me, crazy loon!"Eftsoons his hand dropped he.He holds him with his glittering eye-The Utah Prof, stood still, And listens like a third-year prep:The Engineer hath his will.The Utah Prof, sat on a stone,He cannot choose but hear; And thus spake on that wretched man,The Utah Engineer."There was a course in chemistry,"The Engineer did say, "And it did keep me in the lab.At work both night and day.And though I wrought with might and mainAnd toiled both day and night, Professor Ebaugh flunked me out:Sure 'twas a piteous plight."The Utah Prof, he beat his breast,For he heard the loud bassoon A-tooting out the dulcet strainsOf Squire Coop's famous tune."Then I did do a dreadful thing,For in my pain and woe, I thought I'd leave the EngineersAnd to the Arts I'd go.To take a very easy courseI resolutely swore; So I went in to English OneAnd likewise English Four.""God save thee, wretched Engineer From the fiends that plague thee thus-Why look'st thou so?" "My weight of woe Doth make me long to cuss.My English One had scarce begunWhen I was pained to hear I must indite a theme each nightAnd ten long themes a year.These cursed themes they plagued my dreams.I thought they'd be my end; The teacher drew his pencil blueThrough every line I penned.(146) |
