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Show 158 something. And if she were alone, like earlier today, she did-speaking out loud, imagining what their answer would be. But sometimes, she could not imagine what their answer would be. That is when that great sense of aloneness would sweep over her. Would come rolling over her, stripping her of her defenses, her everyday concerns- those illusions which were her life-leaving her naked. Alone. Completely alone. Deserted. As removed from life as if she had been seized and robbed, stripped of her worldly clothing and left to wander over an empty, lifeless desert. This was the strangest pain-the strangest suffering-that she had ever known. It was as if it were not of this earth. But of some different reality. Like she had been dropped into another reality, a nightmare reality, which only vaguely resembled the world. Which was twisted, removed, desperate. Well, to know that Robbie had such times too was reassuring. Yes, greatly reassurung. It affirmed her, in a certain way. She wrapped the pumpkin pie, that hadn't even been touched. And suddenly it made her feel good to know that he would be eating what she had cooked all week long. He would think of her when he saw those wrapped dishes, when he sat down to them. And as she packed the food in the refrigerator, she felt quite content. By the time Robbie dropped her off at home, he had sobered up reasonably well. She had driven to the movie, he had insisted on driving afterwards. But she made him promise that he would call the moment he reached his apartment. She would sleep better if he did, she said. |