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Show 54 Now she was beyond it. Separated from it. It was as if she had given birth to it, the deadness of it, and had walked away. Leaving it behind, removed from herself. She breathed deeply. At last she had surfaced from that long wave of blackness. But the world she re-entered had not changed. When she told Robbie that she no longer had the money to move, he could not conceal his relief. He nodded his head in sympathy, he was sorry that it had happened, but he could not conceal his relief. It made her angry. It made her want to hurt him. Earlier that morning in church she had considered asking him for the difference. But she had decided not to. He would not give it. Now she was glad that she had already made that decision, it would save the degradation of her asking now. But still she was angry. It had been so costly to her! A surge of hot anger flooded her throat: she would not let him off so easily. He would not walk away from this scot free. She told him of her pain. In detail, the nail-like sensation of the pain. The agony of that long night. Never, she said, had she experienced anything like that. His face began to flush. His delicate features grew sharp. She had him. Momentarily she felt ashamed. But she could not stop: "It was unbearable. I realize now-a little bit, I think-what hell must be like." And she began to go over it again. Until he could contain himself no longer: "It's not my fault," he protested coldly, "You act like I was the one who caused it. What's |