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Show 2 Sebastian with the arrows piercing his chest. St. Paul, struck down blind in the road, rising to his knees with his transfixed face. Or Joan of Arc, kneeling, her head bowed in submission, the ray of divine light illuminating her clasped hands-that was her favorite painting in the church. And over them all, the giant crucifix behind the altar, Christ with his crown of thorns. The paintings, the statues, these images were close to her in a private way. When she gazed upon them, they released something in her. She knew what they were about. Yes: they had suffered. They knew what suffering was. In a few weeks, she came up with a different plan. A revision, really, of the first: Robbie would rent an apartment which they would share. Just the two of them. She would cook, keep house-everything. He would simply have to pay the rent and buy the groceries. After all, he didn't like to cook, and it was the one thing which she knew she was good at. That and cleaning house. So on the phone she would hint at this, work it into the conversation. How nice it would be if someday they could live together again! she would say. He would hesitate for a moment, finally saying yes, someday that would be nice. And that was the moment to ask him, point blank. But she could never come out with it then. She was afraid -she knew-that he would say no, and that would end it. This way, when she was speaking with him, talking, she could hope. Until he said goodbye and hung up the phone. Then she would cry. The one person left her in the world, and he was turning his back on her! He was deserting her, as her father and mother had deserted her. She was terribly angry at them for that- |