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Show CHRYSALIS PAGE 107 I find, barely into this book, that it is infinitely more trying than I thought it would be. I try to think about continuity and sequence, and steady progression toward a goal. I find myself very wound-up, emotionally up-tight to the point that, while my intentions are to magnify the Joy of Life, I find myself extremely nervous, short-tempered with my children and impossible to live with. I am so close to some of this material that it just devastates me to write it. Yet, I am bound to it like Prometheus to the Rock, and it will not let go of me. It takes me places I've almost forgotten and have no wish to revisit. Young writers are constantly urged to write what they know. So, of course I will include Jennifer. Although our lives have taken different directions she is as much a part of me as my heart. Jenny understands pain and escape. My scar is still tender, it still hurts a little. Jenny's scars, of a different nature, are tender, too. Most of the time we are unaware of them, but on another level of consciousness, awareness is always there. I wish we had talked long ago about living and dying. But we were too young, and the young live forever. We talked about Variety, and agents, Stanislavsky and "The Method," and whether Katherine Hepburn was truly great. We take so many things for granted when we are young. We are too busy to notice, then they are gone. |