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Show CHRYSALIS PAGE 122 comforted him, and he did the same for me. The bond we -created sharing our loss of Kie was (and is) stronger than any other we share!! Nothing, not love, sex, friendship or marriage vows, is as meaningful as our experience together over Kie. Did you know real people wring their hands? I did, for months. I walked the floors and cried and sort of "washed my hands." Suicide seemed so nice at times. Letting go is the only way to survive. There were still reasons to live, so I chose to live. There was no other choice. I let her go. Then, of course, there was the guilt to deal with. The most precious person in my life (then or now) was gone, without a word from me. I felt I had let her down. How dare I be happy again? Or love, or feel, or plan again? And the most damning, how dare I forget? "Oh, that's wrong," I kept telling myself. "If I could let her go that must mean I never really loved her." Now I see how distorted that was. Kie is now where she "ought" to be. Part of my dearest memory. I don't dare think of her too often. See what you asked of me? Shame on you. |