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Show RULES FOR GIRLS WHO SERVE AT MYSOCIAL FUNCTIONSBy Aunt Lucy.(1) Always serve, from the left hand side (to make the left-overs feel at home).(2) Never place the thumb in the soup to ascertain its temperature-this is a practice which is frowned on at all of the best social affairs. Carefully inspect all soup before serving and if there are any flies apparent on the surface remove them.(3) Do not flirt.(4) Do not chew gum.(5) Be careful that G'erman spies do not poison the food.(6) Place the napkins two inches from the edge of the table where the guest will not fail to notice them.(7) If you spill soup on a gentleman's coat be sure to hand him a whisk broom.(8) Never give the guest more than one silver eating utensil.(9) If the guest kicks about the food remind him that we must win the war.(10) Doctor Harriman will always be near to offer advice should any difficulty not covered by these rules be encountered.Shapely, a winsome young co-ed of the University kissed Keith Komenearer, likewise a Frosh, in order to restore him to consciousness.Needless to say he woke up, swearing never to undergo such a hazardous performance again.It seems that in a friendly tussel, young Komenearer accidentally stabbed himself.A Senior medic happening along, informed the young lady that the wound was quite serious and that an osculatory embrace had in like cases proved effective.Then, planting a long, slimy, lingering mark of affection on his fevered countenance, the young lady, as before stated, •wrought the cure.TELEPHONE CONVERSATIONJack Harrington (after student body election)-Hello, Jerry, I want to congratulate you on your election as student body president.Jerry L.-Thanks, Jack. I appreciate that.Jack (uncertainly)-Say, Jerry, er-er-r -are you coming back next year?SOCIETYMr. John Harrington gave a delightful informal clothes-buying party immediately after the Prom receipts had been distributed (if distribution is the right term), in the beautiful rooms of the Hand clothes shop.The feature of the party was the purchase by Mr. Harrington of a $20 suit and a $3 hat.Mr. Harrington made a splendid figure in his raiments and the beautiful shelves of the shop made everything appear the gala ovent it "was. Patrons "were Mr. Jack Harrington, Mr. John Harrington and the Hon. J. Harrington, Z. C. M. I.DANCING LESSONSLearn to trip the light fantastic.Be the social lion at all the balls.Make all the girls just crazy to dance withyou.MY OWN METHOD, QUICKLY LEARNED IN TEN LESSONSTerms are a secret "which will be revealed when the student has finished the course.U CO-ED CREATES FURORE(By Special News Service.) In front of Candy Store, March Forward. -At 10 o'clock this morning Miss JanetHERBERT BRAASCH Studio, Fourth Floor of GymHours-The darker the night the better.Page Two Hundred f-crty-five |