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Show FOREWORDLast Fall, to over 3,000 of the nation's unemployed registering in the University of Utah, were distributed little brown handbooks. They were (forgive us if we speak of them in the past tense) regular Almanacs, chock full of the most informative of information, including the social calendar, addresses and officers of the social fraternities and sororities, athletic schedules, Utah songs, and so on. They were not only dull, but were inadequate, so inadequate that they were soon extinct. The Utonian, therefore, has slapped out this same student handbook from memory, realizing that students are not likely to stuff a great big clumsy old Utonian down the sump. In this way shall the official Handbook be preserved. Okay, Butch, let 'em have it!No. X194H1President about to enforce corsage rule.THE PRESIDENT OF THE COLLITCHGreetings, and may the University yield a great measure of happiness and profit to you, you whippersnappers.The University is a place where we multiply student advancement every year. And the University is quite a gay place, too. Of course, sometimes we get pretty sore at you, but can we help it if you clod-plates find cause to moan every time we put down a foot? We all make mistakes, and we're sorry-but that's no excuse for your pointing your fingers at us and saying, "Nassy old mans! Nassy old ma-yans!"We give you a new auditorium, and what do you do? You want to hold smokers in it and break up the seats. We give you a Union Building, and you want to smoke in all the offices, or else hold your parties at the Utah. We give you a campus, and you want to blow cigarette smoke all over it. We give you four student publications, and you want to print tobacco ads so you can make thesheets pay. This is the depression, and nothing is supposed to pay for itself nowadays, you dummies. We give you a Junior Prom, and you want to wear corsages, and smoke too, I guess. We give you a cafeteria and you eat at the drug store. We give you rest and recreation rooms, and you sit on the lawn or in the cars out in back of the Park Building, or you mill around the pump like sheep. We even give you Earl Carrol's Vanities. Aw, you.Of course, we'll admit we give you lectures in Kingsbury Hall, Saturday registration, classes on U day, and Baccalaureate Sermons, and we'll admit our administration is one of the dullest and futilest things you've ever run up against, but nevertheless we welcome you to these advantages and hope you don't decide to withdraw from the University until you've been registered a month and have bought all your books and everything.We really ought to say something about the old Utah spirit here, but we've got too many other worries on our old grey head.GEORGE, Prexy.Page Three Hundred Fourteen |