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Show 71 "She is in polygamy but she in reality knows nothing of it-1iving alone and surrounded with comforts and luxuries and everything that could make home pleasant or life desirable. The trials of earth and perplexities appear to be a stranger to her door. But what will the great future do for her. Methinks her glory will not be equal to that of the poor woman who has but few of this world's goods but has proven herself a true Latter Day Saint by bearing patiently the trials of polygamy. While I was there Milford came. I was quite surprised and Oh so pleased. How thankful I am that we have been preserved in life and health to meet again. 0 I hope I may do right, and not permit selfishness or jealousy to influence me to evil thoughts or actions. Father in heaven help me that I may be noble, kind and faithful. These closely-linked events: Ellis's eager anticipation of the return of her husband after a six-week absence; her noble defense of her position to members of Brigham Young's household; and her reactions to Sister Dunford's favored situation, display the struggle, the rationalizations, the constant checking of premises which Ellis had to undergo in order to keep her poise with regard to her marital status. It is evening, no doubt, when she recounts these events; and on this evening, Milford's first night at home in weeks, he has probably seen fit to spend some time with Mary and/or Maggie, else how would Ellis find the opportunity to write in her journal and to couple the almost wistful references to jealousy and selfishness with a fervent plea for divine aid? Five days later, ecstatic, Ellis places an exclamation mark even after the date: "June 23rd Sunday! The holy and sacred Sabbath day!" She has attended church and listened to "a sermon by Milford-my kind and noble husband," and the source of her ecstasy is that she is blessed in "having a husband who had it in his |