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Show 45 The eyebrows of today's Relief Society secretaries will shoot up at the reference to an offer of remuneration. Perhaps in Ellis's circumstance it was a tactful effort to relieve her husbandless penury, for it clearly predated the church's welfare program. She, of course, spurned the suggestion. In the thrust of her journal keeping (away from experience as an end in itself but toward assimilation of that experience as a lesson in living) Ellis demonstrates her introspection. She yearns for the luxury of quiet reflection and the opportunity to focus her attention upon lofty principles. She thirsts for knowledge. Small wonder then that from time to time she rails agains circumstances which thwart her efforts. On a dark May evening, during a dismal rain, she is weary from being "confined all day in the school room," and on the Sunday morning of June 18, having the rare luxury of a ten-minute respite, opines that there is little time, with school and the "numerous other duties," to study, meditate, or reflect. In the Mary/Martha dilemma often faced by introspective women, Ellis utters what might be considered by the Marys of the earth a truly classic statement: "Not only my time but my thoughts and my mind ar necessarily occupied with the cares of everyday life, this temporal existence that requires so much flour and potatoes for its sustenance." (my emphasis) It is critical to the unfolding drama of Ellis's life that we now ride with her on the tide of excitement and anticipation. |
