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Show Chapter 2 LOVING AND YEARNING Salt Lake City May 3, 1871 I have risen early in the day for they are not sufficiently long for me to do all that I desire. The many practical duties that are mine preclude almost the possibility of intellectual study. I see by deducting a few golden moments from sleep, I may be able to add to my feeble stock of knowledge. Of late my desire for progress and improvement seems greater than ever before. I feel that gaining a deeper understanding of my inner nature-of its frailties and weaknesses--!*ncreases the desire to bring them into subjection. I know that can be accomplished in only one way-by the aid and assistance of the Holy Spirit. My heart continually ascends to Heaven for that divine aid that I know is never withheld from those who ask in faith. Faith is a boon, 'tis a gift that comes alone from God. How grateful should we be for its bestowal J In three salient areas in this first journal entry, Ellis establishes her theme: early rising for "intellectual study," a deep desire to overcome personal "weaknesses," and heavy reliance upon "divine aid" for accomplishing these ends. Two days after her account begins, Ellis observes her fifth wedding anniversary. These anniversaries, so pivotal in her thinking, seem to suggest that her seven years of journal keeping be viewed from May to May. What have five years yielded? May 5, 1871 ... Oh, how many changes have ruffled the tide of my existence. Ecstatic joys, and poignant sorrows have been mine. A few gems of thought have brightened my mind but how many idle useless thoughts have dimmed my intellect, clouded my understanding and stolen from me the precious fleeting hours. But during these years I have gained one priceless possession, a pearl of eternal value-a firm and |
