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Show Woodworth/79 he would go back to talking about Nantucket, about whether the dory would be ready to put in the water, and if the Barnses would be racing their boat in July. I kept looking at Megan, trying to get her to look at me. Because you were dead, Jake, and it wasn't the slightest fucking bit important whether the Barnses raced in July or not. But Megan just sat there and ate her sandwich. When we got back to the car, Mom said that she wanted to drive for a while, that it would take her mind off things, but Dad wouldn't let her. They were standing by the driver's side, and Megan and I were sitting in the back seat. She told him that she had to, she had to drive, because otherwise she couldn't stop thinking about it. She tried to grab the keys from out of his hand. He kept saying, "No, Ruth. No, Ruth," really quietly, as if she were some untamed animal that he was trying to gentle. And she started screaming at him, calling him a bastard, and a fucking murderer, and saying he was torturing her. Then, all of a sudden, it was like she couldi't breathe. Her mouth was open, and she was choaking. Then she started panting, hard, and her eyes were shiny, the way Bootsie was when she was having puppies. Megan and I were sitting in the back seat like we were on our way to Sunday school, ankles and knees together, hands on our laps. I thought Mom was dying, too. All I could think of was that I had done something that was making everyone die. That it wasn't going to stop with just you. Then Dad grabbed her by the shoulders and said, "Come on, come on. You are all right," and he led her around to the passenger side, opened the door, and pushed her into the car. Someone came towaaPds-Aft^aafceaidLed out, "Everything all right?" and Dad |