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Show Woodworth/1^+3 like this one - while he pawed and groped at her. When his schedule changed, though, it got better. He would be home in the evenings, and they would eat dinner together, read or sit in silence and listen to music together. Then they would go into the warm darkness of the bedroom together, and she would massage him until he began to massage her, and then she would lie still until his hands got more suggestive. Then. She enjoyed it then. Until she didn't get the curse. She would check in the bathroom six or seven times a day, but nothing. Waited three weeks, and even waited af-tor the time she stood up and nearly blacked out, felt naseaus and dizzy all morning. After that, she went as soon as she could to the doctor, and he told her it was true. She was pregnant. What did it feel like to be so happy, so full of plans? They stayed up until after midnight every night for weeks, planning every minute of their child's life. They planned to have lots of children, five at least, and decided how many boys and girls they wanted. Ned was very gentle in bed, making love to her and to the baby. In the hospital, that's where the technical stuff really took over. Lying in the delivery room, trying to feel the pride and joy her friends had talked about, and the sense of fulfillment her mother had gone on about. But instead, she thought about college, and how much she wanted to go back and get a degree. The painting class in freshman year, when she had walked into the studio, and realized that all those paints, easels, papers, brushes, charcoal and pencils were for her. She could use them as often as she liked. She tried to imagine what it would be like to hold her baby, to allow it to suck on her breast, and all she could think of was how she would have to act in front of Ned, in front of his parents, in rTmt nf ^ ^ friends. Because she wouldn't want to |