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Show 46 The R E L A P S E ; or, Y R W h y do you think k fhou'd? x! F! Becaufe I remember mine did fo, when I heard m y Father was (hat through the Head. V . F. It then did very ill. L. F. Prithee, w h y fo ? r. F. Becaufe he us'd you very well. t- F w/dl? - nawftnkeme dumb, he ftarv'd m e . ' He has let m e want aThaufand W o m e n for want of 'a Thaufand Paund. . r F. Then he hindred you from making a great man; ill Bargains, for I think no W o m a n is worth Monej-that will take Money. § £. F. If I were a younger Brother, I lnoud think ft too. r. F. W h y , is it poftible you can value a Womaa that's to be bought ? , L. F. Prithee, why not as well as a Pad-Nag ? r. F. Becaufe a W o m a n has a Heart to difpofe of; i Horfe has none. L. F. Lookycu, Tam, of all things that belang toa W o m a n , I have an Averfion to her Heart: Far whet once a W o m a n has given you her Heart you can never get rid of the reft of her Bady. r. F. This is ftrange Doctrine: But pray in you Amours how is it with your own Heart ? L. F. W h y , m y Heart in m y Amours is lib m y Heart aut of m y A m o u r s ; a la glace. MyBal dy, Tam, is a Watch •, and m y Heart is the Pendulum to it -, whilft the Finger runs raund to every Hour in the]! Circle, that ftill beats the fame time. T. E. Then you are feldom m u c h in love ? L. F. Never, flap m y Vitals. r. F. W h y then did you m a k e all this Buftle about Amanda / L. F. Becaufe (lie was a W o m a n of an infolent Virtue, and I thought m y felf piqu'd in Honour to debaudl her. Y. F. Very well. [Afide.] Here's a rare Fetal for you, .to have the fpending of Five Thoufand Poun# *a Year. But n o w for m y Bufinefs with him, [] + Virtue in Danger. 47 Y*Fop.] Brother, tko I k n o w to talk to you of Bufinefs (efpecially of Money) is a T h e m e not quite fo entertaining to you as that of the Ladies; m y Neceffities are lucn, I hope you 11 have patience to hear m e . L.F The greatnefs of your Neceffities,' Tam, is the worft Argument in the World for your being patiently heard. I do believe you are going to make m e a very good Speech, but, ftrike m e dumb, it has the worft beginning of any Speech I have heard this Twelvemonth. Y. F. I'm very fony you think fo. u L*£'- 1 d ° , ,beheVe thou art' But c o m e > let's know thy Affair quickly ; for'tis a new Play, and I fhall be io rumpled and fqueez'd with prefling through the Crawd to get to m y Servant, the W o m e n will think I have lain. . all Night in m y Clothes. Y. F. W h y then (that I may not be the Author of fo great a Misfortune) m y Cafe in a word is this. The neceflary Expences of m y Travels have fo much exceeded the/Wretched Income of m y Annuity, that I have been forc'd to mortgage it for Five Hundred Pounds, which is fpent; fo that unlefs you are fo kind to aiiift me: in redeeming it, I know no Remedy but to take a Purfe. * L. F. Why, Faith, Tam .togive you m y fenfe • f t ^ l d ? t hln k takinS a Purfe the b^ Remedy in the W 0 r l d ; for if you fucceed, you are reliev'd that way ; if you are taken you are reliev'd t'other. Y. F. I'm glad to fee you are in fo pleafant a Humour I hope I fhall find the effects on't. numour, *,£"fn^ty d° y°U thc" reaUy thfnk k a 'cafonable thing I Jhou d give you Five Hundred Paunds ? T. F. 1 do not ask it as a Due, Brother, I a m w i h W to receive it as a Favour. * H Ft ?ih?u art w i I H l lg to receive it any haw, ftrike m e fpeechlefs. But thefe arc damn'd times to J v e M o ney m Taxes are fo great, Repairs fo exorbitant, T e nants fuch Rogues, and Perriwigs fo dear, that the D e vil take m e , I a m reduc'd to that extremity in m y Cafli, 1 have been fare d to retrench in that one Article of fweec sawder, till I have braught it d a w n to Five G u i n e a s^ Man h |
