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Show ? 2 The R E L A P S E ; or, Lv be much diverted with the Natural Sprains of his own. But to fay the truth, Madam, let a Man love reading never fo well, when once he comes to know this Tawn, he finds fo many better ways of pafllng a. way the Four and twenty Hours, that 'twere ten thou-find Pities he fhou'd confume his time in that. Far example, Madam, m y Life 5 m y Life, Madam is a perpetual Stream of Pleafure, that glides through fuch a Variety of Entertainments, I believe the wifeft of our Anceftors ne-ver had the leaft Conception of any of 'em. I rife, Madam, about Ten a-clock. I don't rife fooner, becaufe 'tis the worft thing in the World for the Com-plection ; nat that I pretend to be a Beau •, but a Man muft endeavour to look wholefome, left he make fo naufeous a Figure in the Side-bax, the Ladies fhou'd be compell'd to turn their Eyes upon the Play. So at Ten a-clock, I fay, I rife. N a w if I find it a good Day, I re-falve to take a Turn in the Park, and fee the fine Wo. men ; fo huddle on m y Clothes, and get drefs'd by One. If it be nafty Weather, I take a Turn in the Chocolate-houfe; where, as you walk. Madam, yoa have the prettieft Profpeft in the World -, you have Looking-glafTes all round you. But I'm afraid I tire the Company. Ber. Not at all. Pray go on. L. F. W h y then, Ladies, from thence I go to Dinner at Lac\e''s, and there you are fo nicely and delicately ferv'd, that, ftap m y Vitals, they can compofe you a Difh no bigger than a Saucer, fhall come to Fifty Shillings, Between eating m y Dinner (and warning m y Mouth, Ladies) 1 fpend m y time, till I go to the Play ; where, till Nine a-clock, 1 entertain m y felf with looking upon the Company -, and ufually difpofe of one Hour more in leading them aut. So there's Twelve of the Four and Twenty pretty well over. The other Twelve, Madam, are difpos'd of in two Articles: In the firft Four I toaft m y felf drunk, and in t'other Eight I fleep m y felf fo-ber again. Thus, Ladies, you fee m y Life is an Eternal round O of Delights. Lov. 'Tis a Heavenly one, indeed. Amffl> Virtue in Danger JJ Aman. But <ny Lord, ryou Beaux fpend a great deal of your Time in Intrigues: You have given us no Account of them yet. L. F. afide.] Soh ; fhe wou'd enquire into m y A-mours That's Jealoufy She begins to be in love with me. [To Aman.] Why, Madam as to time for m y Intrigues, I ufually make Detatch-ments of it from m y other Pleafures, according to the Exigency : Far your Ladyfhip may pleafe to take notice, that thofe w h o intrigue with W o m e n of Quality, have rarely occaflon for above half an Hour at a time : People of that Rank being under thofe Decorums, they can feldom give you a larger View, than will juft ferve to fhoot 'em flying. So that the Courfe of m y other Pleafures is not very much interrupted by m y Amours. Lov. But your Lordfhip n o w is become a Pillar of the State ; you muft attend the weighty Affairs of the Nation. L. F. Sir- - as to weighty Affairs I leave them to weighty Heads. I never intend mine fhall be a Burden to m y Body. Lov. O but you'll find the Houfe will expect your Attendance. L. F. Sir, youll find the Houfe will compound for m y Appearance, Lov. But your Friends will take it ill if you don't attend their particular Caufes. L. F. Not, Sir, if I come time enough to give 'em m y particular Vote. Ber. But pray, m y Lord, h o w do you difpofe of your felf on Sundays f for that, methinks, fhou'd hang wretchedly on your hands. L. F. W h y Faith, Madam- 1 RuwA.™. ft a vile Day, I muft confefs : 1 intend to move for leave to bring in a Bill, That Players may work upon it, as well as the Hackney Coaches. Tho this I muft % for the Government, it leaves us the Churches to entertain us- But then again, they begin fo abominable early, a M a n muft rife by Candle-light to 2et dief&'d by thePfalm. f C 5 Berf |