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Show so The R E L A P S E ; or, I creep into his Heart, you muft enter into his Plea-fures Here you have ftood ever fince you came in and have not commended any one thing that belongs to him. Y. F. Nor never mail, while they belong to a Cox. comb. Lo. Then, Sir, you muft be content to pick a hun^rv Bone. *1 Y. F. N o , Sir, I'll crack it, and get to the Marrow before I have done. L. F. Gad's Curfe ; Mr. Foretop, you don't intend to put this upon m e for a full Perriwig ? Fore. Not a full one, my Lord ? I don't know what your Lordfhip may pleafe to call a full one, but I have cram'd 20 Ounces of Hair into it. L. F. What it may be by Weight, Sir, I fhall not difpute; but by Tale, there are not 9 Hairs on a fide F ^ . O L o r d ! OLord! O Lord! Why, as Gad fhall judge me, your Honour's Side-Face is reduc'd to the Tip of your Nofe. L. F. M y Side-Face may be in an Eclipfe for eu^ht I know ; but I'm fure m y Full-Face is like the Full- Moon. Fore.^ Heaven blefs m y Eye-fight r Rubbing his pes.] Sure I look through the wrong end of the Per-fpedive 5 for by m y Faith, an't pleafe your Honour, the broadeft place I fee in your Face, does not feem to me to be two Inches Diameter. L.F..If it did, it would juft be two Inches too broad; for a Perriwig to a Man, fhou'd be like a Mask to a W o m a n , nothing fhou'd be feen but his Eyes ffi^. L o r d> i h w d o n e 5 * you pleafe to have moie Hair m your Wig, I'll put jt j n / r E. F. Paflitively, yes. Fore. Shall I take it back now, m y Lord > a manftroil au. o f c h e o t^en for a Trumpeter [Exit Fore. I hon^T v<>ur Pe°ple of Bufinefs are gone, Brother, J hope I may obtain a quarter of an Hour's Audience of Virtue in Danger. 21 L. F. Faith, Tam ; I muft beg you'll excufe m e at this time, for I muft away to the Houfe of Lards immediately -, my Lady Teafer's Cafe is to come on today, and I would not be abfent for the Salvation of Mankind. Hey, Page I is the Coach at the Door ? Page. Yes, m y Lord. L. F. You'll excufe me, Brother. [Going. Y. F. Shall you be back at Dinner ? L. F. As Gad fhall jidge me, I can't tell ; for 'tis paflible I may dine with fome of aur Houfe at Lacket's. Y. F. Shall I meet you there ? For 1 muft needs talk W?ith you. L. F. That I'm afraid mayn't be fo praper; far the Lards I commonly eat with, are a People of a nice Convention -, and you know, Tam, your Education has been a little at large : but if you'll ftay here, you'll find a Family Dinner. Hey, Fellow ! What is there for Dinner ? There's Beef: I fuppofe m y Brother will eat Beef. Dear Tam, I'm glad to fee thee in England, flap m y Vitals. [Exit with his Equipage. Y. F. Hell and Furies! Is this to be borne? Lo. Faith, Sir, I cou'd almoft have given him a knock o'th' Pate m y felf. Y. F. 'Tis enough ; I will now fhew you the cxcefs of m y Pafllon by being very calm : Come, Lory, lay your Loggerhead to mine, and in cool Blood let us contrive his Deftruttion. Lo. Here comes a Head, Sir, would contrive it better than us both, if he would but join in the Confederacy. Enter Coupler. Y.F. By this Light, old Coupler alive ft ill ! W h y, how now, Matchmaker, art thou here ftill to plague the World with Matrimony ? You old Bawd, how have you the Impudence to be hobling out of your Grave 20 Years after you are rotten. C. W h e n you begin to rot, Sirrah, you'll go off like a Pippin, one Winter will fend you to the Devil. What Mifchief brings you home again ? H a ! You young Lafcivious Rogue you; Let m e put m y Hand into your Bofom, Sirrah. r. |