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Show 14 The R E L A P S E ; or, Wat. Change a Guinea, Mafter! Ha, ha, your Ho-nour's pleas'd to comp'iment. Y. F. l'gad I don't know how I mall pay thee then, for I have nothing but Gold about me. Lo. afide.l Hum, hum. Y. F. What doft thou expect, Friend ? Wat. Why, Mafter, fo far againft Wind and Tide, is richly worth half a Piece. Y.F. Why, Faith, I think thou art a good confciona-ble Fellow, l'gad, I begin to have fo good an Opinion of thy Honefty, I care not if I leave m y Portmantlc with thee, till I fend thee thy Money. Wat. Ha ! God blefs your Honour ; I mould be as willing to truft you, Mafter, but that you are, as a Man may fay, a Stranger to m e , and thefe are nimble Times; there are a great many Sharpers ftirring. [Talking up the Portmantle."] Well, Mafter, when your Worfhip fends the Money, your Portmantle mail be forth-coming \ m y Name's Tugg, m y Wife keeps a Brandy-Shop in Drab'Ally at Wapping. Y. F. Very well ; I'll fend for't to morrow. [Ex.Wat* Lo. So. Now, Sir, I hope you'll own your felf a happy Man, you have outliv'd all your Cares. Y. F. H o w fo, Sir ? Lo. W h y you have nothing left to take care of. Y. F. Yes, Sirrah, I have m y felf and you to take care of ftill. Lo. Sir, if you cou'd but prevail with fome body elfe to do that for you, I fancy w e might both fare the better for't. Y. F. W h y , if thou canft tell m e where to apply my felf, I have at prefent fo little Money, and fo much Ht* mility about me, I don't know but I may follow a Fool's Advice. Lo. W h y then, Sir, your Fool advifes you to lay a-nVe all Animpfity, and apply to Sir Novelty your elder Brother. Y. F. D a m n m y elder Brother. Lo. With all m y Fleart -, but get him to redeem your Annuity however. Y.F* ••• • •• ^ M Virtue in Danger. i$ r. F. My, Annuity ! S'death, he's fuch a Dog, he would not give his Powder-PufF to redeem m y Soul. Lo. Look you, Sir, you muft wheedle him, or you muft ftarve. T. F. Look you, Sir, I will neither wheedle him, nor ftarve. Lo. W h y ? What will you do then ? Y. F. I'll go into the Army. Lo. You can't take the Oaths; you are a Jacobite. Y. F. Thou may'ft as well fay I can't take Orders bfr caufe I'm an Atheift. Lo. Sir, I ask your Pardon •, 1 find I did not know the Strength of your Confcience, fo well as I did the Weaknefs of your Purfe. Y. F. Methinks, Sir, a Perfon of your Experience fhould have known, that the Strength of the Confcience proceeds from the Weaknefs of the Purfe. Lo. Sir, I a m very glad to find you have a Confcience able to take care of us, let it proceed from what it will -, but 1 defire you'll plea fe to confider, that the Army a-lone will be but a fcanty Maintenance for a Perfon of vour Generofity (at leaft as Rents now are paid) 1 mail fee you ftand in damnable need of fome auxiliary Guineas for your Menu Plaifirs ; I will therefore turn Fool once more for your Service, and advife you to go di-reftly to your Brother. . ^ . Y.F. Art thou then fo impregnable a Blockhead, to believe he'll help m c with a Farthing ? Lo. Not if you treat him, De haut en bas, as you ufetodo. Y. F. W h y , h o w wou'dft have m e treat him r Lo. Like a Trout, tickle him. Y. F. I can't flatter Lo. Can you ftarve ? 2* v Yes - L'O. 1 can't; Good by t'ye, Sir {Going. Y. F. Stay, thou wilt diftraft me. What wou dft thou have m e to fay to him ? Lo. Say nothing to him, apply your felf to his -favourites, fpeak to his Periwig, his Cravat, his Feather, |