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Show f 262 E S 0 Pm Efop. 'Tis very well, Sir, 1 fhall be fure to fpeak to the King of you ; or if you think fit to remonftrate to him, by way of Petition or Addrefs, h o w reafonable it may be to let M e n of your Importance go Scot-free, in the time of a neceflary War, I'll deliver it in Council, and fpeak to it as I ought. Gent. W h y , Sir, I don't difapprove your Advice, but m y Clerk is not here, and I can't fpell well. Efop. Y o u may get it writ at your leifure, and fend it me. But becaufe you are not much us'd to draw up AddrefTes perhaps, I'll tell you in general what kind of one this ought to be. May it pleafe your Majefty <«« . To the Gent.] You'll excufe m e if I don't know your N a m e and Title. Gent. Sir, Polidorus Hogfiye, of Beaft-Hall in Swine. County. Efop. Very well. May it pleafe your Majefty ; Polidorus Hogftye, of Beaft-Hall in Swine-County, moft humbly reprefints, That he hates to pay Taxes, the dreadful Confequences of 'em being inevitably thefe, That he muft retrench two Difhes in ten, where not above fix of 'em are defigad for Gluttony. Four Bottles out of twenty ; where not above fifteen of 9em are for Drunkennefs. Six Horfes out of thirty ; of which not above twenty are kept for State. And four Servants out of a Score \ where one half do nothing but make Wor^ for t'other. To this deplorable Condition muft your important Subjecl be reduc'd, or forc'd to cut down his Timber, which he wou'd willingly preferve againft an ill Run at Dice. And as to the Neceffity of the War for the Security of the Kingdom^ he neither knows nor cares whether it be neceffary or not. E S 0 P, 2<u He concludes with his Prayers for your Majefty's Life% upon Condition you wiu prouel him md ^ ^ J ^ at Beaft-Hal! without e'er a Penny of Money. To the Gent.] This, Sir, I foppofe, i$ much what you w o u d be at. r Gent Exactly, Sir, I'll be fure to have one drawn up to the felf-fame purpofe ; and next Fox hunting V\\ engage half the Company fhall fet their Hands to't. Sir, I a m your - moft devoted Servant; and if you pleafe to let m e fee you at Beafl-Hall, here's m y Huntf-man Houndsfoot will fhew you a Fox fhall lead you through fo many Hedges and Briars, you fhall have no more Clothes on your Back in half an Hour's time-- than you had. in the W o m b of your Mother. Haux, haux, haux, err. [Exitfi?outing. Efop. O Tempora, O Mores P Enter Mr. Fruitful and his Wife. ^ Mr. Fruit. Heavens preferve the noble Efip, grant him long Life and happy Days. Mrs. Fruit. And fend him a fruitful Wife, with a hopeful Iftue. Efop. And what is it I'm to do for you, good People to make you amends for all ail thefe friendly Wifhes ? Mr. Fruit. Sir, here's m y felf and m y w,f* Mrs. Fruit. Sir, here's I and m y Husband ~ To her Husband.] Let m e fpeak in m y turn, Goodman Forward. To Efop.] Sir, here's I and m y Husband, I fay, think We have as good Pretenfions to the King's Favour as ever a Lord in the Land. Efop. If you have no better than fome Lords in the Land, I hope you won't expect much for your Service. Mr. Fruit. An't pleafe you, you fhall be Judge your felf. Mrs. Fruit. That's as he gives Sentence, Mr. Little-wit; who gave you power to come to a Reference ? If he does not do us Right, the King himfelf fhall j what's to be done here ! To Efop.] Sir, I'm forc'd to correct m y Husband a little; poor Man, he is not us'd to Court-Bufinefs; but to • |