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Show but pre- 140 The Provoked Wife. Heartf. Nav, foe's much in the wrong truly •, Who knows h o w far Time and good Example may Conft. O ! they have plaid their Parts in vain already; 'Tis now two Years fince that damned Fellow her Huf-band invited m e to his Wedding : and there was the firft time I faw that charming W o m a n , w h o m I have lov'd ever fince, more than e'er a Martyr did his Soul ; but fhe is cold, m y Friend, ftill cold as the Northern Star. Heartf, So are all W o m e n by Nature, which makes them fo willing to be warm'd. Conft. O don't profane the Sex, prithee think them a!! Angels for her fake, for fhe's virtuous even to a Fault. Heartf. A Lover's Head is a good accountable thing truly ; he adores his Miftrefs for being virtuous, and yet is very angry with her becaufe fhe won't be lewd. Conft. Well, the only Relief I expect in m y Mifery, is-to fee thee fome day or other as deeply engag'd as my felf, which will force m e to be merry in the midft of ail m y Misfortunes. Heartf. That Day will never come, be affurd, Ned: Not but that I can pafsa night with a W o m a n , and for the time, perhaps, make m y felf as good Sport as you can do. Nay, I can court a W o m a n too, call her N y m p h , Angel, Goddefs, what you pleafe: but here's the Difference 'twixt you and I; I perfuade a Woman fhe's an Angel, and fhe perfuades you fhe's one. Prithee let m e tell you h o w I avoid falling in love; that which ferves m e for Prevention, may chance to ferve vou for a Cure. Conft, Well, ufe the Ladies moderately then, and 111 hear you. Heartf. That ufing them moderately undoes us all; but I'll ufe them juftly, and that you ought to be fatisfied with. I always confider a W o m a n , not as the Taylor, the Shoemaker, the Tire-woman, the Sempftrefs, and (which is more than all that) the Poet makes her; but I confider her as pure Nature has contriv'd her, and that more ftrictly than I fhould have done our old Grandmother Eve, had The ProvoPdWifeT^\AX had 1 feen ^ r naked in the Garden \ for I confider her m \ nfd%°Ut' ?" H e a n well-examin'd I' fin* there Pride, Vanity, Covetoufnefs, Indifcretion but 7 bove all things Malice ; Plots eternally a forging to de ftroy one another's Reputations, and aslioneftly to charge the Levity of Mens Tongues with the Scandal • hourly Debates h o w to m a k e poor Gentlemen in loVe with them, with n o other intent but to ufe them like D o ^s when they have done ; a conftant Defire of doin^ more Mifchief, and an everlafting W a r wag'd aoainft Truth and Good-Nature. Conft. Very well, Sir ; an admirable Compofition truly! Heartf, Then for her Outfide, I confider it merely as an Outfide ; fhe has a thin Tiffany Covering, over juft kh fluff as you and I are m a d e on. As for her Motion, her Mien, her Airs, and all thofe Tricks, I k n o w they affect you mightily. If you fhould fee your Miftrefs at a Coronation dragging her Peacock's Train, with all her State and Infolence about her, 'twou'd ftrike you with all the aweful Thoughts that Heaven it felf could pretend to from you ; whereas I turn the whole matter into a Jeft, and fuppofe her ftruttino- in the felf-fame ftately manner, with nothing on her^but her Stays, and her under fcanty quilted Petticoat. Conft. Hold thy profane Tongue, for I'll" hear no more. Heartf, W h a t , you'll love o n then ? Conft, Yes, to Eternity. Heartf, Yet you have n o hopes at all. Conft. None. Heartf. Nay, the Refolution m a y be difcreet enough • perhaps you have found out fome n e w Philofophy, That Love's like Virtue, its o w n Reward : So you and your Miftrefs will be as well content at a diftance, as others that have lefs Learning are in coming together. Conft. N o ; but if fhe fhould prove kind at laft, m y dear Heartfree. [Embracing him. Heartf. Nay, prithee don't take m e for your Miftrefs, tor Lovers are very troublefome. Conft. |