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Show 82 New song. You killed a gift from God/this baby will never grow to show its love / You '11 never hear it say "I love you " Buffy is wrapping up. Soon Riley will know Buffy's secret identity as the slayer. I have a hard time being awake in the apartment for longer than an hour without showering, and since I can't fall asleep I put on some jeans and go outside for a walk. I walk in the direction of the train station a mile west of our apartment waiting until the urge to punch Chris in the ear has subsided. It's after midnight, and nobody is outside. I can hear the occasional car a few streets over and sometimes the punctuation of a train hom, but those sounds are for the most part sewn into the nightscape seamlessly, no more distracting than a dim star. When I get to the train station, I tiptoe down the overpass slant and start walking on the train tracks running through alchemist landscape that mixes marshland, dirt road, broken bottles, gravel, weeds and trailers with inhabitants undetermined. I always hope a train will come by and meet me eye to eye, and at night, sometimes that happens. I wait in the quiet for twenty minutes and I'm about ready to go when a train starts to approach. I watch the light move closer and listen to the space between train horns. Even though I can never see him, I looked for the conductor in the front car as it gets close and wonder what I would look like to someone seeing me for the first time, sitting next to a moving train at midnight. |
