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Show 79 "I was glad you called," she said. "I was always sad that nothing ever happened between us in high school." The windows were fogging up and I wanted to step outside. Instead I pulled her on top of me. We kissed for a while with her knees arching over my ribs and my hands on her back. I felt her shoulder blades. Her hands were cold as she moved them under my shirt and slid them up and down my chest and ribs. After a few minutes of this I started to feel a scratchy, slow sort of sadness move up my spine, and I thought about the tree branches moving in front of the moon and city. I pulled back and she asked, "What's wrong?" "Nothing," I said, thinking over my options. I could put on my coat, get out of the car and watch Allison's brake lights as she negotiated her way down the icy hill; follow her tracks as I walked home through three miles of wet ground and barking dogs, hopefully making good enough time to slip into my basement window before my younger sister woke up anticipating Christmas morning. The snow would cover my tracks. Maybe Allison wouldn't take it personally and would just drive me home. Or I could stay. It was stuffy in the car but cold outside. I looked through the trees into the dim energy of the city. I was starting to feel a buzz from caffeine and alcohol. I could see the snow touch the windshield and melt. I didn't want to commit to a decision, so I closed my eyes and tried not to think. It didn't work. I was a virgin in my hometown. I had this choice to make. |