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Show FacultyFamiliar Facts and Secrets About the Profs, and Near Profs.JAMES LAMBERT GIBSON:Pays an income tax.Believes in the Divine right of Deans.LYNN A. QUIVEY:Favorite poet .... Ella Wheeler Wilcox Favorite magazine .... Cosmopolitan Favorite leader .... William J. BryanTHOMAS A. BEAL:Bank director and Sunday school superintendent. Believes in the dogma of Seligman infallibility. Suffice to say, he hails from Ephraim.GEORGE Q. CORAY:Author of "The professor's salary as unearnedincrement."Editor, Ogden Standard 1885.FREDERICK J. PACK:The ultimate source of right.Always does the right thing.Extremely domesticated as is evidenced by thematrimonial "we."Author of "Moses as a Scientist."MILTON M. BENNION:Confidential advisor of Student Court. Moral preceptor of the Freshman class.GEORGE M. MARSHALL:Delivers an annual lecture to faculty on "Lack of Culture in Utah." Now in pamphlet form, five cents, University press.LEVI EDGAR YOUNG':Grandson of Utah's first governor. Met all of his classes on March 12th.GEORGE E. FELLOWS:Fears democracy, and loves horseback riding. A true hero worshiper. Favorite heroes: Napoleon, Bismarck, Roosevelt, and Garibaldi.DUANE G. HUNT:A fortune hunter, but poses as a misogynist. Ofttimes permits his vitality to become sicklied o'er "with a pale cast of thought. It is rumored that he teaches a class in Elocution.WILLIAM LEARY:The demi-god of the barristers.Demands that the law school be given a "placein the sun."Motto: "Got Mit Uns."MISS MAUD MAY BABCOCK:Guarantees to feminize college men within one semester. (For reference see Angus Boyer.) Her two great ambitions:1. To' suppress commercialized drama.2. To make debating an asthetic rather than a rationalistic appeal.Favorite Sayings of the Profs.Dean Leary-Now ain't that so?Prof. Lewis-My very dear friend the President of Harvard.Doctor Snoddy-That's a very pretty point.Prof. Coray-Do you get me?Prof. Beckstrand-Well, anyway there are four postulates.Prof. Young--Now students, I want you to think about our Western country.Dean Van Cott-You're a disgrace to every self-respecting University girl.General InformationSeven hundred eighty-nine and one-half pair of new silk hose were worn during the school year. (One girl tried to slip one lisle stocking- over on the censor as silk, hence the one-half.)Two hundred and thirty pounds of face powder were used. (No, there isn't a war on the hill.) One hundred and eleven eye-brow pencils were consumed. We couldn't get an accurate estimate as to the lip rouge for some of the girls were backward in reporting.Sixty pair of rubbers, nine hats, thirty overcoats and fifty-three packages of Camels were stolen.One million two hundred and one Boston Baked Beans "were consumed in the University lunch room.Twenty clean towels were used in the dressing rooms. This fact is noteworthy considering that there are only a thousand six hundred and ninety-three students attending the University this year.Lucy Van Cott submitted some inside dope, but "we were reluctant about publishing it as it concerned some rather prominent figures on the campus.Twenty students were blinded by the reflection from blue serge suits. However, we shall not be personal.Page two hundred forty-seven |