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Show Index: ee Gee DE . . kc es Sec. G-7 School and You......... Sec. A-9 Ff & i eee Sec. C-C TO6 Oe LAVIN ks as es Sec. 5-7 Living and School....... Sec. X-4 Z-3 9-4 7-D F-G L-! I-4 T- Plush Carpet brightens hall. Police look for ‘‘John’’ Vandal. New speakers spread the news. Se School and Lunch....... Sec. Lunch and Disease....... Sec. Ee ee rer Sec. Homework and School .. Sec. You and Homework ..... Sec. Homework and You...... Sec. You and Home... i ¢ss Sec. TODAY’S WEATHER: PARTLY TO MOSTLY Today’s Advice: Remember Who You Were. KK Section A Vernal, Utah, Friday, Ma yatta] 982 Sees Free Torrential rain showers broke loose on Friday, causing freak flash flooding that annihilated the homecoming festivities. Flood water roared down Main, as frightened spectators watched in horror as joggers, Uettes, and a drenched drummer were swept down the parade route. There were unconfirmed accounts of casualties among the queens. A VCP officer reported 3 girls nearly suffocated when their dresses shrank during the outburst, and they slowly choked on the hoods of late model cars. Rescuers from Search and Rescue dragged the gutters for bodies for 11 missing elementary joggers. As the flood waters receeded, streets were clogged with soggy crepe paper, piles of drenched napkins, and frings. Claims were made that Mr. Caldwell relied on his barefoot surfing experience to win the senior road race. Those charges were denied in the front office. Massive Blast makes Utes Region Champs. The commissioner of the Utah High School Activities was contacted for his comments on the tragedy. He sniffled, ‘*‘T just don’t know what to do, we will have to declare new champs in all of tating the factory, the blast destroyed much of Utah county. The area between Mt. Timp and Utah Lake was a our sports.’’ giant crater, as crews searched for survivors, farmers in Moab reported large the news. chunks of the newly completed Mountain View, were falling on his heards. Coaches at UHS were excited with ‘“‘Ladies, I knew you could win, if you’d just try,’’ announced Bink. Coach Weight reacted with, ‘‘I Utah county sheriff officers reported that as near as he could tell, all of the schools in the valley had been des- frankly I’m surprised our boys won.”’ troyed. anything this year,’’ snapped Henry. In a press conference Mr. Caldwell Stated, ‘‘Our students just have to eat more school lunch. If they don’t, our send the cooks to Ronald McDonald’s school of cooking,’’ he explained. ‘‘We simply must have a cafeteria. Where else can you get soybean sur- knew this would be a rebuilding year, ‘I told you PG wouldn’t amount to a Saas sone Reg een Se The worst disaster in Utah, happened yesterday as the Geneva steel plant exploded. In addition to devas- cooks will lose their jobs.”’ Most of the students were in support of Caldwell. Jeff Good, Jim Abeggaln, and a few other boys started a chant, “EAT LUNCH — SAVE A COOK, EAT LUNCH — SAVE A COOK.”’ Caldwell adopted this as his theme. ‘Fund raisers will be held so we can prise and leather lasagna for just a dol- lar,’’ anguished a frustrated cook. ‘‘Maybe we could discourage the kids from leaving for lunch, if we mined the field between here and 7+ agg Knights first press conference ‘Thats sick, not funny’’ raged Cal- vin Knight, as Student leaders led an investigation of washroom attacks. ‘‘If we loose this money from the Vandal- ism Fund we won’t have enough money to clean our office,’’ anguished highlights vandalism. Keri A Bartlett. news conference focus on the problem. was called to ‘“‘If this con- tinues we will have to resort to the Bathroom Buddy System,”’ threatened V.P. Greene. |
