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Show 45 EIGHT Leaning against the trunk of a big old Cottonwood tree, Dyna sat unmoving for the longest time, staring at the ripplings in the pond beyond the fence. She had gone to early Mass with Gram, thinking that might help, but it didn't. She had to live with her lies now. What a nerve she had, asking God to cover for her, then telling Him thanks after she weasled her way out of trouble. Who'd she think He was, her accomplice? Dyna threwa twig in the pond, but it didn't interest the ducks in the least. She wished now she'd brought some bread crusts along, but when she left the house after lunch she wasn't sure where she'd end up. She should have known. Staring was a great purge for her, and she did it best out here In the park. Dyna picked up a yellow leaf, split it with her thumb, sectioned it along each of the veins. It's starting all over again, isn't it? The lies, the bad behavior, the trouble with the cops. The dark suspicions grew inside her like hungry amoebae, engulfing, devouring whatever self-esteem had begun to flourish there. Why couldn't things have gone on the way they were7 Was she doomed to repeat and repeat and repeat the rest of her life? Gram had been downright giddy at mid-term when her progress report came in, but now! Now they could hardly look one another in the eye. Worse yet, Dyna wasn't sure she could make herself go to creative writing tomorrow. Her face burned, imagining what they thought, Simpson and the rest. She wasn't worried about Derek-he'd asked for it!-but what about her teacher? Simpson liked her. What about Jan and Heidi and Lisa, who'd all been so friendly? Parker, too. What did he think of her now? Parker. She lingered over his name. Tall, shy, Rock-of-Gibralter Parker, of the brown eyes and brown hair and outdoorsy brown skin, what would he think of her now? Briefly, her face contorted. She tossed the shredded leaf into the wind and watched it nosedive, thinking how casually she'd destroyed its symmetry. Dyna closed the history book she'd held in her lap and let it slide onto the stiffening brown grass. It was pointless to read that damn page again. She couldn't be bothered with the Truman Doctrine, |
