OCR Text |
Show 23$ 'l‘lll". lt.\lll{ l-‘HIII'S'I' MARIE IVANUYNA (at-ulnar heltind her pale eheeku. ('Htttitt'j and swing with the, heats at her heart. She enntinned happily. ("'tttl'lt‘ttllwi ing tip I was alwavvs t't‘.\tll'~<. "When I was grow- \l'v tnellter allenerl me to do as I pleau‘d and I had tin Httt' in Lllllltttl'th nvet' me. I was restless heeanse I knew nntlting and an une ennltl tell me anvtlting‘ tltat seemed tn me true. I witnltl have. like other girls. snddett enthnsiawns t'nr swine une wlm seemed strong and wnndertinl~r and then tltev were never \vnndertnl-- with" like ever‘v nne the. I \venltl he ang‘rv, impatient, miserahle. ltnssian girls hegin lit'e w earlv . . . After a time. mether l,»eg'an to treat me a< thung'h I was grewn np. \Ye Went tn l‘t‘tt‘ngratl and l tltttttght ahttnt eltttltCS and theatres. But I never l‘nt'gtttfl'l alwalvs waited for first time ever, I care for some one, mere than nrvselt' and suddenly I am afraid of death no longer. It is true. Ivan Andreieviteh, I do not helieve that death can separate Alexei from me; I have more, r rastm new to wish to live than I have ever had, hnt. now I am net a t'raid. \Vherever I am, Alexei will Came-wherever he is, 1 will go. . . She hreke tutti-then langhed. "Yen think it: silly in England to talk ahnnt sneh thing's. Nu I‘lnglir‘h girl \vnnld. \\'ttllltl she.I In Illtssia we are silly it' we like. lint nhl hnw happy it is, after all these weeks. nut tn he at'raid net to wake up early and lie there, aml think tltink antl :lmdtler. 'l‘he'v nsed tn say I \\'a.< hrave almnt the wounded, it' thelv .ntllv knew I hrave at 3-, hrave at nperat inns Yen enl_v, Ivan Antlreieviteh, have seen me at'raitl. lvnn the man or the work or the friend that was tn ntake lit'e real. (tnl'vl . . .i' Then snddenl)‘ the wa‘ eame and l thenght that I had fennd what I wanted. ltnt there ttm there were disappoint- Iaee: ments. .Inhn was not -Ifllttt. the war was< net the war . . . and it‘s only today new that I feel as thnng‘h I were r-riflllt imide. I've heen so stnpid~Iive made so many mistakes." She dropped her vniee: "I‘ve atha'vs heen atraid, Ivan Andreieviteh. that is tlte trnth. ing before S Yen remember that. morn- t" "Yes." I said. "I rentemher it." "Well, it has heen rvt'ten. often like that. I‘ve been afraid (if vaelf and-of something (‘lsefittt' dying: I 't'nnnd that 239 She lnnked at me, her elves searehing mv "Isn‘t it strange that _vun wlm du net lnve me knnw me. perhaps, hetter than ,lnhn and Ives. hetter than .\lexei. That‘s why I tell ,vttniwl ean talk to ,vnn. I never t'nlllrl talk tn wumenfir-I never (and In \vumen. Yen and .lnhn far my t'riends-jves, I atn indeed happy!" She get up than the nld snl'a, walked a little almnt the teem. lrmked at the remains nt' the meal, at, the hunk. then turned runnd tn me: "llnn‘t t-v'er tell an_v tine. Ivan .\ntlrt-ievitelt, that l ha\e I\Iltl l‘lll I know new that lit'e i4 \\ttttll|‘t'littl .tl I didnt want to die, that the thmtg‘ht (if death was t00 l;t‘t all that \\lten I \\:l.< ‘vnttttg' l e\peetetl it In he. . . . IL. lmrrihle to me. ."t" lillt'W, That day of the Ietreat how afraid I wafil Ilt‘t‘ll illiliilItI. . . net gluing tn die. . I'lll IIL'YI‘I' It) l\‘att .\ntlreieviteh, IN‘ l (ll'liflltl llL‘illll. t'eel twla) as thnttgh I n eIOhn eould not proteet me. no one could. And. I W115 ashamed of myself! IIrwv a<ltamed, how miserahle. And I was afraid heeanse I thought: of myself more than of \tnnld live t'nr ever! Hentyennv eame in. He w:t< I" "I'l""'ll‘l "l'llill‘i l l'ml tn-vet' >een hint w git)". m eat'ele.<~lv' happ‘v. "Well." any 0110 OlSe~al\v'a}'s. he I'I'lt‘tl tn me. "We‘re In gt: nnvv at, unw- I had tine ideals hntgAin ltt'étf‘llt'e and the next time, at eight. "it was only that‘that, I always was selfish. New, tier the We‘ll leave gun thin time. |