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Show Mountain Biking? We Do It! It's that simple. With lines like Fat Chance, Fisher, Marin, Ibis, Bianchi, Mountain Goat, Slingshot, Salsa, Bontrager and Haro all under one roof, you spend more time test-riding and less time driving from shop to shop. Knowledge & Prices Find someone who rides or races a mountain bike and ask about us. Parts & Accessories We've got lots of them. Not just bread-and-butter Shimano, but track stuff like Cook Bros., Bullseye, WTB, Salsa, exotic wheelgoods and a wall full of knobby tires. Repairs? We do them right!! And usually overnight. Need a wheel built today or a quick tune before a trip to the desert? Give us a call. We don't hire salesmen. Everyone who works here is a mechanic. We love bikes and the people who ride them. Wild Rose 702 Third Ave. 533-8671 It's that simple. FICTION: Adventures of Frank and Stony Poor Howard's Dead and Gone Chapter Nine: Dark As A Dungeon This bit of whimsy began in the October, 1992 issue and is offered purely for your e,Yoyment. -ed. When we left our intrepid heroes last, they were careening through the back streets of Chicago in a sleek black limousine with two large, unattractive men named Guido and Spike, who had mistaken Frank Wakefield (boy banjo genius) for someone named Rocco. The two ugly men remained silent in the front seat as the car whizzed up streets and around corners. Stoneman, the ever-faithful rottweiler, rested his chin on Frank's lap and covered his eyes with his front paws, expecting the worst. Suddenly a Nazi attack helicopter burst out of the sky above them with rocketlaunchers blazing, and blasted the limousine and its occupants to smithereens. ·Actually, that's not what happened at all. I just put that in for excitement. Instead, the limo darted into a large doorway on one of the darkened streets, and proceeded to spiral down several stories in what appeared to be an abandoned parking garage. Exiting the limousine, our heroes and their hulking entourage marched down a dank corridor, turned a corner, and emerged through glass doors into a huge, brightly-lit room full of empty supermarket shelves. It looked like a Safeway store before the goods are stocked. Guided by their captor, (or whatever he was; Frank wasn't sure) the group made its way to an office up front, where they were awaited by a tall fat man in pinstripe suit and panama hat, who looked like Sydney Greenstreet. "You must be Guido," he said to the guide-o through lips that hardly moved. "Yep, dat' s him," shouted Spike helpfully. "Who're you?" 11 ]. Harding Davies, unflinching capitalist entrepreneur," murmured pinstripe. ''What did you get me down here for? Said you had an investment deal that would make me lots and lots of beautiful nice green money which we unflinching capitalist entrepreneurs love more than pie and ice cream." ,Look around ja," said Guido with gestures and animation. ,Ya know da straight people call us da 'underworld'? Well dis is gonna be da real Underworld Shopping Center, seven stories underground. A place for da bruddas to get all dere crime supplies, see? We'll call it KRI-MART. Sell everything from machine guns to burglar tools to counterfeiting equipment to blackjacks and robbers' masks. We'll make a zillion, wid you bankrolling the operation and Rocco here managing da store." ,You mean the kid with the dog and the machinegun case?" said pinstripe. 11He don't look old enough to be a manager." "Don't let dat fool ya," said Guido. 11lt' s his haircut makes him look dat way. Dis is Rocco Vages, famous former manager of several Nevada pleasure palaces before da Feds got wise and he hadda skip town. He can do da job." 110h-oh, Stony," whispered Frank, "Looks like we're fixing to be about to be in a heap of trouble." ~~okay, Kid," murmured pinstripe through unmoving lips. 11Tell us how you plan to manage this store so we get lots of customers and make lots and lots of beautiful nice green money." ~~well to start with," said Frank, thinking quickly, ,we'll have a big continued next page 14 Intermountain Acoustic Musician. June 1993 |
