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Show 76 a few million years and were ready and eager to start the race over again, right this time. When we were rolling back down the mountain road, Ross driving our Chevy with Mary Jane's head on his shoulder, I felt so liberated there in the midnight dark of the back seat that for the first time I unbuttoned Avis's dress and thrust my hand boldly inside. After a while I slipped it also inside her bra. My hand curved about that shape as if it had been born knowing it, but my wrist was bent at such an extreme angle that I had to withdraw. I was squirming around trying to find a different angle when Avis calmly undid more buttons and lifted her bra up, releasing her breasts to my hands, to my greedy eyes. But after a half hour of that, with Ross and Mary Jane in the front seat, then what? I talked of this and that, until she looked at me with an ironic tilt to her head: "Can I put them away now?" I begged for a last feel and while I cupped her warm breast to get the most out of it, the heel of my palm nesting snug up against her breastbone, suddenly I felt her heart beating from the unknown dark inside, suddenly I felt close to the life of her hidden heart, and the touch startled me. I withdrew my hand. Grasping her bra with both hands, with one flip she tucked her breasts away. I was slightly awed and vaguely uneasy about the riches I had discovered inside her dress. I remembered her fine thick chestnut hair which always smelled a little of the drug store, the sweet soda-fountain smell mixed with an astringent medicinal one, and underneath them both another odor which I could not identify, nice, a good and comfortable smell, maybe only her. It made me want to hold her to comfort her, just to comfort her-that really scared me, A"d Ross was asking me if I'd done it yet until I felt my virginity was smothering me, as if I was fighting for air, growth, life. "OK! OK!" I said. "Now." All I needed was the perfect place. When I found I could not do it |