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Show J2?3 J7. Ben and Amelia had left for a Canadian honeymoon, Kite was going to stay on a few days in Cleveland, so I had to ride back alone with Hal Dove and his wife, Hal was mostly silent but his wife talkdd constantly, from Cleveland to Chicago. They dropped me off. The apartment was hot and stuffy and empty. For the next few days Carrie looked at me as if I'd done away with Rita. As soon •ft**,«f a./9/eet of «. hnvkfj-up bid/ as she gAi*^e^>*ioJK2*e^ft*u^e«aa>--4 she would call the cops. , , , to*du/«. I like solitude. Freely chosen, knowing it will.aaV with friends, it en-n riches me, it is a richness in life. But loneliness is my loss. I feel abandoned by the world and that feeling diminishes me. I feel threatened by it, like a preview of death. So no wonder I remembered the time back on the farm when my father and the hired man and myself were trying to get one of the John Deere tractor wheels off the axeft. For what purpose I don't i recall, but the huge wheels were supposed to slide on the axie so that they could be spaced narrow or wide depending on the job, and this one was stuck. Dad did not want to oil the axeft because then the wh£eel might slip under power, and I said use gasoline. The two men looked at me. I was about twelve^ I said if they used gasoline it would slip now, and then evaporate to slip no more. Donald Best was more praiseful than my father, who looked as if he wished he had thought of it himself, but I knew he was impressed and I clung to that incident. I wanted to tell Mite, about it, to assure her that I didn't do the wrong thing every time. But she was in Cleveland. She flew back Wednesday night and went to work the next morning so that I didn't see much of her till Saturday when we ate our usual light breakfast. She |