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Show of!" It was not until he stepped over to his glove and picked it up and rubbed his unburned thumb over the palm of it, finding the fine supple leather scorched and stiffenec, cnat his face turned livid and his voice found its full outrage. He called me a stupid damn fool of a boy who would have been better left in town with the girls, and his tone scorched me. "Get out of this corral before you mess something else up."' he said, and I felt i it like a blow to the groin. Unbelieving :.yself, I watched him pull his glove back on, pick up the iron and turn to the calf. The iron was still hot enough to use. Ignoring my brothers I walked on stiff legs to the pole fence, climbed it and dropped down andkept going, around the barn and to the stackyard and around behind a stack of hay. I sat there out of sight while they let the calves out of the corral and did the chores. No one called for me to help. I could not from where I was see the San Juans, Mt. Sneffles with its particular grandeur in the later afternoon sun, nor did I want to see them. Because I knew then that t some things change forever, that there would never be another Brocken 4, AaVs*. Across cattle ranch in those mountains, I would never ride*those mountain meadows. I knew too that 'J.S. Highway 50 started in Washington, D.C., and ran west the breadth of tne land, ran right down our Main Street and on to finish in San Francisco, and I knew too that I would follow it or some other highway, out, out and acay. The day would come. Yet neither then nor when it came had I any idea of how long it would take to catch up with me, the leaving. Or how deeply I woulc feel the loss. I felt it then alone in that room in Chic in det»etit ivj»+e*\ ago at\^c«ac^«->wAn«% mY dreaming shrinking away, drying up and leaving me ^iiEarabla. In January I did not re-turn to classes and JW^H.iO UUCs. weont bbyy •' wwiitthhoouutt.-.w anrt^asTe^seeienng anyone I krew. I made a half-hearted attempt to find another place to live since the black woman was trying to force .ie out, found nothing, stayed. I felt like painting the room olack again, .ncluding tne windows. ±*&>&r--i&*i^&r^^ |
