Comedies, tragedies, and operas, vol.1

Page 111

o\A i Sir Martin Marr-all: Or, r! W h y fhould \ on think me fuch a Sot? I Proftitutc. and Sir Mart. Fai rand foft, good Sir John. . Sir John. You ice I am no very obftinate Rival, I leave the Field free to you : Goon, Sir, and purine your good Fortune, and be as happy as fuch a common Creatu nake thee. SirAfo". This is Hebrew-Greek to me; But I muft tell you, Sir, I will not fuffcr my Divinity to be prOphan'd by fuch a Tongue as yours. Sir John. Believe it, whate'er I lay, I can quote m y Author for. Sir Mart. Then, Sir, Whoever told it you, lv'd in his Throat, d'you fee, and deeper than that, d' ve fee, in his Stomach, and his Guts d'ye fee: tell mc fhe's a common Perfon ! he's a Son of a Whore that faid it, and I'll make him eat his words, though he fpoke 'em in a Privy-honfe. Sir John. What if H 'arnet told me (o ? I hope you'll grant him to be a compe­tent Judge in fuch a bufinefs. Sir Mart. Did that precious Rafcal fay it ? Now I think on't, I'll not believe you : in fine, Sir, I'll hold you an even Wager he denies it. Sir John. I'll lay you Ten to one, he juftifies it to your Face. Sir Mart. I'll make him give up the Ghoft under mv Fift, if he does not deny it. Sir John. I'll cut off his Ears upon the Spot, if he does not ftand to't. Enter Warner. Sir Mart. Here he comes in Pudding-time to refolve the Queftion : Come hi­ther, you lying Varlet, hold up your hand at the Bar of Juftice, and anfwer to what I fhall demand. Warn. What a Goodier is the matter, Sir ? Sir Mart. Thou Spawn of the old Serpent, fruitful in nothing but in Lies ! Worn. A very fair beginning this. Sir Mart. Did'ft thoudare to caft thy Venom upon fuch a Saint as Mrs. Milli­fent, to traduce her Vertue, and fay it was adulterate ? Warn. Not guilty, m y Lord. Sir Mart. I told you Co. Sir John. Flow, Mr. Rafcal! Have you forgot what you faid but now con­cerning Sir Martin and Mrs. Millifent ? I'll flop the Lie down your Throat, if you dare deny't. Sir Mart. Say you fo! Are you there again i'faith ? Warn. Pray pacifie your felf, Sir, 'twas a ! own deviling. Sir Mart. Leave off your winking and your pinking , with a Horfe-Pox t' ye, I'll underftand none of it; tell me in plain Englifh the truth of the bufinefs; for an' you were m y own Brother, you fhould pay for it: belye m y Miftrefs ! What a Pox d1 ye think I have no fenfe of Honour ? Warn: What the Devil's the matter w'ye? Either be at quiet, or I'll refolve to take my Heels and be gone. Sir Mart. Stop T hief there! What did you think to 'fcape the hand of Ju­ftice ? [Toys hold on him. The beft on't is , Sirrah , your Heels are not altogether fo nimble as your Tongue. [Beats him. Warn. Help ! Murther I Murther ! Sir Mart. Confefs, you Rogue, then. Warn. Hold your Hands, I think the Devil's in you 1 tell you, 'tis a De-e of mine. Sir Mart. And have you no body to devife it on but m y Miftrefs, the ven Map of Innocence ? Sir John. Moderate your Angar, good Sir Martin. Sir Mart. By your Patience, Sir, I'll chaftife him abundantly. Sir John. That's a little too much, Sir, by your Favour, to beat him in my prefence. Sir Mart. That's a good one i'faith, your prefence fhall hinder me from beat­ing my own Servant ? Warn. 0 Traytor to all Sen fe and Reafon! he's going to difcover that too. Sir Mart. An'I had a mind to beat him to M u m m v , lie's m y own, I hope. Sir John. At prefent, I muft tell you, he's mine, Sir. StrMart. Hey-day! here's fine juggling! Warn Stop yet, Sir, you are juft upon the brink of a Precipice. Sir Mart. What is't thou meaneft n o w - a h I Hi mifgives me I have • • ' • . ' ' • ' .. • * - - - - - - » - - _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ The. Feign'd Innocence. 21$ have done fome Fault, but would I were hang'd if I can find it out. [Afide. Warn. There's no making him underftand me. Sir Mart. Pox on't, come what will, I'll not be fae'd down with a Lie; I fav he is m y Man. Sir John. Pray remember your felf better ; did not you turn him away for fome fault lately, and laid a Livery of black and blue on his Back before he went ? Sir Mart. The Devil of any fault, or any black and blue that I remember: ei­ther the Rafcal put fome Trick upon you, or you would upon me. Sir John. O, oh, then it teems the cudgelling and turning away, were pure In­vention ; I am glad I underftand it. Sir Mart. In fine, it's all fo damn'd a Lie. Warn. Alas! he has forgot it, Sir, good Wits, you know, have bad Memo; Sir John. No, no, Sir, that fhall not ferve your turn , you may return when you pleafe to your old Mafter, I give you a fair Difcharge, and a glad Man I am to be fo rid of you : were you thereabouts i'faith ? What a Snake I had enter-tain'd into m y Bofom ? Fare you well, Sir, and lay your next Plot better be­tween you. [Ex. Sir John. Warn. Lord, Sir, how you ftand ! as you were nip'd i' th' head; have you done any new piece of Folly, that makes you look fo like an Afs ? Sir Mart. Here's three pieces of Gold yet, if I had the heart to offer it thee. [Holds ihe Gold afar off trembling. Warn. Noble Sir, what have I done to deferve fo great a Liberality. I con­fefs if you had beaten me for my own fault, if you had utterly deftroy'd all my Projects, then it might ha' been expected that ten or twenty Pieces fhould have been offer'd by way of Recompence or Satisfaction. Sir Mart. Nay, an' you be fo full of your Flowts, your Friend and Servant; who the Devil could tell the meaning of your Signs and Tokens,an' you go to that ? Warn. You are no Afs then ? Sir Mart. Well, Sir, to do you Service , d'ye fee , I am an Afs in a fair way; Will that fatisfie you ? Warn. For this once , produce thofe three Pieces, I am contented to receive that inconfidcrablc Tribute: or make 'em fix,and I'll take the Fault upon m y felf Sir Mart. Are we Friends then ? If we are let me advifeyou.- Warn. Yet advifing- Council, difcover Warn. Agreed, it fhall be fo; but let us now take breath awhile, then on again. For though we had the worft, thofe heats were paft, We'll whip andfpur, and fetch him up at laft. Ex. A C T V. Enter Lord, Uij Dupe, Mrs. Chriftian, Rofe, and Warner. Lord. TLTOnr Promife is admirably made good to me t\m Sn John Swallow X mould be this Night Married to Mrs. Chriftian ; inftead of that, he is more deeply engag'd than ever with old Moody. Warn. I cannot help thefe Ebbs and Flows of Fortune. La. Dupe. I am fure my Niece futfers moft in't, he's come oft to her with a cold Complement ofa Miftake in his Miftreffes Vertue, which he has now found out, by your Matter's Folly, to be a Plot of yours to feparate them. Chr. To be forfaken when a W o m a n has given her Contend Lord. 'Tis the fame Scorn, as to have a T o w n render'd up, and afterwards ^tA You are a fweet Youth, Sir, to ufe my Lady fo when, fhe depend^on you; Is this the Faith of a Volet de Chambre I I would be aft a m d to be fuch a difhonour to m y ProfefTion; it will refteS upon us in tune, we fhall be ruin d by your good Example. Warn As how. m v dear Lady Embaffadrelsr .- ^ . Why, they7a7y the W o n i n govern their Ladies, ^ J E W £ : *& you play fall and loofe, not a Gallant will bribe us for our good w ^ £ g * £ lutnea will now go to'the Ordinary, which us'd as duly to ileal into our hands* the Stair-foot, as into Mr. Dodor's at parting.