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Show 2IO Sir Martin Marr-all: Or, vour Cradle, a conceited Lack-wit, a Defigning Afs, a Hair-brain'd Fop, a confounded Bu \ with an Eternal Windmil in it; this, in fhort, Sir, is the Contents of your Panegyrick. , ... 0 Sir l&r/ ' But what the Devil have I done, to fet you thus againft m e ? WJTW. Only this, Sir, I was the foolifh Rafcally Fellow that w a s w i t h M W y, vour Worfhip was he to w h o m I was to bring his Daughter. Sir Mart. But how could I know this ? I a m no Witch. Worn. No, I'll be fworn for you, you are no Conjurer., o, Sir? Sir . Will you hear m y Juftitications ? Warn. Shall I fee thc back of you ? Speak not a word in your Defence. [Shoves Lim. Sir Mart. This is the ftrangeftLuck n ow xit. W.irn. I'm refolv'd this Devil of his fhall never weary m e , I will overcome him ; I will invent fomething that fhall ftand good, in fpight of his. Folly. Let me fee Enter Lord. Lord. Here he is 1 muft venture on him, for the Tyranny or-ris old is unfupportable, fince I have made her m y Confident, there p. ifes nor , but fhe paffes a pull at m y Purfe-ftrings; I fhall be ruin'd if I do not of her fuddenly : I find now, by fad experience, that a Miftrefs is m chargeable than a Wife , and after a little time too, grows foil as dull an< nificant. Mr. Warner! have you a Mind to do your felf a Courteiie, and another ? Warn. I think, m y Lord, the Queftion need not be much difputed, for T have always had a great Service for your Lordfhip , and fome little Kindnefs for m y felf. Lord. W h a t if you fhould propofe Mrs. Cltriftian as a Wife to your Matt er? You know he's never like to compafs t' other. ]\'am. I cannot tell that, m y Lord Lord. 500 /. are yours at the Day of Marriage. Warn. 500/. 'tis true, the Temptation is very fweet, and powerful; the D^- vil, I confefs, has done his part, and many a good Murder and Trcafon have been committed at a cheaper rate; but yet Lord. W h a t yet Warn. To confefs the truth, l a m refolv'd to beftow m y >n that odier Lady fas difficult as your Lordfhip thinks it^ for the Honour of m y Wit is enga^'d in it: Will it not be the fame to your Lordfhip, were fhe Married to any other ? Lord. The very fame. Worn. Come, m y Lord, not to diftcmble with you any longer, I know where it is that your Shoe wrings you : I have obferv'd fomething in the Houfe, betwixt tome Parties that fhall be namelefs: and know that you have been taking up Linnen at a much dearer rate , than you might have had it at any Drapers in Town. Lord. I fee I have not dane'd in a Net before you. Warn. As for that old Lady, w h o m Hell confound , fhe is the greateft Jilt in Nature , Cheat is her Study , all her Joy to cozen , fhe loves nothing but her felf, and draws all Lines to that corrupted Centre. I have found her out, though late : firft, I'll undertake I ne'er enjoy'd her Niece under the rate of 500/. a time ; never was W o m a n s Flefh held up fo high : every Night I found out for a new Maidenhead, and flic has fold it m e as often as ever Mother Temple, Rennet, or Gifford, have put off boil'd Capons for Quails and Partridges. This is nothing to what Bills you'll have , when file's brought to Bed d bargain, as they call it: then Cram'd Capons, Pea-hens, Chickens mtn j, Pottages, and Frigaties, Wine from Shading, and Lafronds, with A ew-River clearer by Six-pence the Pound, than ever God Almighty made it; then M i d w i f e - - D r y - N u r f e - - Wet-Nurfe and all the reft of their Accomplices with Cradle, Baby-clouts, and Bearing-Cloaths Poffets, Caudles Broth,! Jelhes and Gravies! and behind all thefe, Clyfters, Suppofiters, and 1 barbarous Pothecary's Bill, more inhuman than a Taylor's. «. I fweat to think on't. Warn. Well, m y Lord ! chear up! I have found a way to rid you of it all, within The Feigrfd Innocence. 2 1 1 within a fhort time you fhall know more; yonder a] ung Lady, w h om I muft needs fpeak with, pleafe you go in and prepare therold Lady/and your Miltrets. i7 J Lord. Good Luck, and 500/. attend thee. [Exit. Enter Millifent and Rofe above. Mill. I a m refolv'd I'll never marry him ! Rofe. So far you are right, Madam. Mill. But how to hinder it, I cannot poffibly tell! For m y Father preffes mc to it, and will take no denial: Wou'd I knew fome way Warn. Madam, I'll teach you the very neareft, for I have juft now found it out Rofe. Are you there, Mr. Littleplot ? Warn. Studying to deferve thee, Rofe, by m y diligence for thy Lady; I ftand here, methinks, juft like a Wooden Mercury , to point her out the way to Matrimony. Rofe. Or, Serving-man-like, ready to carry up the hot Meat for your Mafter and then to fall upon the cold your felf. Warn. I know not what you call the cold, but I believe I fhall find warm W o r k on't: in the firft place , then I muft acquaint you, that I have feemingly put off m y Mafter, and enter'd m y felf into Sir John's Service. •ill. Moft excellent! Warn. And thereupon, but bafe Mill. Something he would tell us, but fee what luck's here ! Enter Moody. Moody. H o w now, Sirrah? are you fo great there already? Mill. I find m y Father's icalous of him if ill! Warn. Sir, I was only teaching m y young Lady a new Song, and if you pleafe you fhall hear it. SING S. Make ready, fair Lady, to Night, And ftand at the Door below, For I will be there To receive you with Care, And to your True Love you fhall go. Moody. Ods bobs this is very pretty. Mill. I, fo is the Lady's Anfwer too, if I could but hit on't. S I N G S. And when the Stars twinkle fo bright, Then down to the Door will I creep, To my Love will I fly, E'er the jealous can fpy, And leave my old Daddy afleep. Moody. Bodikins, I like not that fo well, to cozen her old Father; it may be m y o w n Cafe another time. Rofe. O h, M a d a m ! Yonder's your Perfecutor return'd. Enter Sir John. Mill. I'll into m y Chamber, to avoid the fight of him, as long as lean ; Lord! that m y old doting Father fhould throw m e away upon fuch an Ignoramus, and deny m e to fuch a Wit as Sir Martin. [Ex. Mill, and Rofe from above. Moody. O Son ! here has been the moft villainous Tragedy againft you. Sir John. W h a t Tragedy ? has there been any blood fhed fince I went ? Noody. N o blood fhed, but, as I told you, a moft damnable Tragedy. Warn. A Tragedy ! I'll be hang'd if he does not mean aStratagem. Moody. Jack Sawce ! if I fay it is a Tragedy, it fhall be a Tragedy, in fpight of you ; teach your Grandam how to pits what I hope I am old enough how to fpout Englifh with you, Sir ? Sir John. But what was the reafon you came not after m e ? Moody. 'Twas well I did not, I'll promife you , there were thofe would have made bold with Mrs. Bride ; an' if fhe had ftirr'd out of doors, there vt Sir John. The Remedy for all fuch Dangers is eafic ; you may fend for a Parfon, and have the Bufinefs difpatch'd at home. Moody. A Match, i'faith, do vou provide a Domine, and I'll go tell her our Rcfolutions, |
