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Show 4-o The R E H E A R S A L. A C T IV. S C E N E I. Bayes, and the two Gentlemen. Bayes. f* Entlemen, becaufe I would not have any two \ J things alike in this Flay, the laft Act beginning with a witty Scene of Mirth, I make this to begin with a Funeral. Smith. And is that all your reafon for it, Mr. Bayes ? Bayes. N o , Sir, I have a Precedent for it befides. A Perfon of Honour, and a Scholar, brought in his Funeral juft fo : A n d he was one (let m e tell you) that knew as well what belong'd to a Funeral, as any M a n in England, IVad Johnf Nay, if that be fo, you are fafe. Bayes. I'gad, but I have another Device, a Frolick w h ch 1 think yet better than all this; not for the Plot or Characters (for in m y heroick Plays, I make no difference as to thofe matters) but for another Contrivance. Smith. What is that, I pray ? Bayes. W h y , I have defign'd a Conqueft, that cannot poftibly, I'gad, be acted in lefs than a whole Week? And I'll fptak a bold Word, it fhall drum, trumpet, fhout, and battle, I'gad, with any the moft warlike Tragedy we have, either ancient or modern. Johnf. Ay, marry, Sir, there you fay fomething. Smith. And, pray, Sir, h o w have you order'd this fame Frolick of yours ? Bayes. Faith, Sir, by the Rule of Romance; for example, they divide dieir things into three, four, five, fix, feven, eight, or as many tomes as they pleafe : Now I would very fain know what fhould hinder m e from doing the fame with m y things, if I pleafe. Johnf. Nay, if you fhould not be Mafter of your own Works, 'tis very hard. Bayes. That is m y Senfe. And then, Sir, this Contrivance of mine has fomething of the Reaion of a Play i l it too ; for as every one makes you five Acts to one Play, what The R E H E A R S A L . 41 what do I, but make five Plays to one Plot : by which means the Auditors have every day a new thing. John/. Moft admirably good, i'faith ! and muft certainly take, becaufe it is not tedious. Bayes. Ah, Sir, I know that, there's the main Point. And then upon Saturday to make a clofe of all, (for I ever n upon a Monday) I make you, Sir, a fixth Play, that funis up the whole matter to 'em, and all that, for fear they fhould have forgot it. Johnf That Confederation, M r . Bayes, indeed I think will be very neceffary. Smith. A n d when comes in your fhare, pray, Sir ? Bases. T h e third Week. Johnf I'll v o w you'll get a world of Money. Bayes. W h y faith a M a n muft live ; and if you don't thus pitch upon fome new Device, I'gad, you'll never do't; for this A g e (take it o'my word) is fomewhat hard to pleafe. But there is one pretty odd paffage in the laft of thefe Plays, which m a y be executed two feveral ways, wherein I'd have your opinion, Gentlemen. Johnf. Whatis't, Sir. Bayes. W h y , Sir, I make a Male Perfon to be in love with a Female. Smith. D o you mean that, M r . Bayes, for a new thing ? Bayes. Yes, Sir, as I have order'd it. You lhall hear : He having paftionately lov'd her thro' m y five whole Plays, finding at laft that fhe confents to his Love, juft after that his Mother had appear'd to him like a Ghoft, he kills himfelf: That's one way. The other is, that fhe coming at laft to love him with as violent a Paflion as he lov'd her, fhe kills herfelf. N o w m y Queftion is, Which of thefe two Perfons fhould fuffer upon this occafion ? Johnf. By m y troth, it is a very hard Cafe to decide. Bayes. T h e hardeft in the world, I'gad, and h.ij puzzled this Pate very much. What fay you, M r . Smith 5 Smith. W h y truly, Mr. Bayes, if it might ftand with your Juftice now, I would fpare 'em boi Bayes. I'gad, and I t h i n k - h n - why then, I'll make him hinder her from killing herfelf. Ay, it fhall b,- Come, come, bring in the Funeral. Enter a Funeral, with the two Ufurpers and Attendant Lay it down there , no, no, here, Sir. So now fpea K. Ufij. |