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Show 8 Tie R E H E A R S A L, Johnf. Ay, and of Birds and Beafts too : Your gravcft Bird is an Ov\ 1, and your gravcft Beaft is an Afs. Smith. Well, hut h ow doft thou pafs thy time ? Johnf. W hy, as I us'd to do : eat, drink as well as I can, have a She-friend to be private with in the Afternoon and fometimes fee a Play ; where there are fuch things' Frank, fuch hideous, monftrous things, that it has almoft made m e fbrfwear the Stage, and refolve to apply myfelf to the iblid Nonfenfe of your M e n of Bufinels, as the more ingenious Paftime. Smith. I have heard indeed you have had lately many new Playi; and our Country Wits commend 'em. Johnf. Ay, fo do fome of our City Wits too ; but they arc of the new kind'"of WitS, Smith. N e w kind ! what kind is that ? Johnf. W h y , your Virtuofi, your civil Perfon?, your Broils ; Fellows that fcorn to imitate Nature, but are given altogether to elevate and furprize. Smith. Elevate and furprize ! prithee make m e under- Hand the meaning of that. Johnf. Nay, by m y troth, that's a hard matter: I imderftand that myfelf. 'Tis a phrafe they have got amengft them, to exprefs their no-meaning by. I'll tell ear as I can what it is. Let m e fee ; 'tis Fighting, \ii.g, Sleeping, Rhyming, Dying, Dancing, Singing, Crying, and every thing but Thinking and Senie. Mr. Bayes paffes over the Stage. Bayes. Your moft obfequious, and moft obfervant, very Servant, Sir. Johnf. God-fo, this is an Author : I'll go fetch him to you. Smith. N o , prithee let him alone. Johnf Nay, by the lord, I'll have him. [Goes after him. Here he is, I have caught him. Pray, Sir, now for my lake, will you do a favour to this friend of mine ? Bayes. Sir, it is not within m y fmall Capacity to do favours, but receive 'em ; efpecially from a Perfon that does wear the honourable Title you are pleafed to impofe, Sir, upon this Sweet Sir, your Servant. Smith. Your humble Servant, Sir. Johnf But wilt thou do m e a favour now ? Bayeu The R E H E A R S A L ; 9 Bayes. Ay, Sir: What is't"? Johnf. W h y , to ^tell him the meaning of thy laft Play. Bayes. H o w , Sir, the Meaning? D o you mean the Plot? Johnf Ay, ay, any thing. Bayes. Faith, Sir, the Intrigo's n o w quite out of m y head. But I have a new one in m y Pocket, that I m a y fay is a Virgin ; it has never yet been blown upon. I muft tell you one thing, 'tis all new Wit, and tho' I fay it, a better than m y laft; and you know well enough how that took. In fine, it fhall read and write, and aft, and plot, and fhew; ay, and Pit, Box, and Gallery, I'gad, with any Play in Europe. This Morning is its laft Rehearfal, in their Habits, and all that, as it is to be a*fl-ed; and if you and your Friend will do it but the honour to fee it in its Virgin Attire, tho' perhaps it m a y blufh, I fhall not be afham'd to difcover its Nakednefs unto y o u .- I think it is in this Pocket. [Puts his hand in his Pocket. Johnf. Sir, I confefs I a m not able to anfwer you in this new way ; but if you pleafe to lead, I fhall be glad to follow you, and I hope m y Friend will do fo too. Smith. Sir, I have no Bufinefs fo confiderable as fhould keep m e from your Company. Bayes. Yes, here it is. No, cry your Mercy ; this is my Book of Drama Common places, the Mother of many other Plays. Johnf. Drama Common-places ! pray what's that ? Bayes. W h y , Sir, fome certain Helps, that w e M e n of Art have found it convenient to make ufe of. Smith. H o w , Sir, Helps for W i t! Bayes. Ay, Sir, that's m y Pofition , and I do here aver, That no M a n yet the Sun e'er fhone upon, has Parts fuffi-cient to furniih out a Stage, except it were by the help of thefe m y Rules. Johnf What are thofe Rules, I pray ? Bayes. Why, Sir, m y firft Rule is the Rule of Tranf-fion, or Regula Duplex; changing Verfe into Profe, or rrofe into Verfe, alternative as you pleafe. Smith. Well, but how is this done by Rule Sir ? Bayes W h y thus Sir j nothing fo eafy, when understood : I take a Book m m y hand, either at h o m e or eKe- *fcre, for that's ail onej if there be any W i t in't, as there A S is |