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Show 38 The R E H E A R S A L. Honour aloud commands, Pluck both Boots'on; But fofter Love does whifper, put on none. What fhall I do? what Conduct fhall I find, T o lead m e thro' this Twilight of m y Mind ? For as bright Day, with black Approach of Night Contending makes a doubtful puzzling Light; So does m y Honour and m y Love together Puzzle m e fo, I can refolve for neither. Goes out hopfing, with one Boot on, and t'other off. Johnf By m y troth, Sir, this is as difficult a Combat as ever I faw, and as equal; for 'tisdetermin'd on neither fide. Bayes. Ay, is't not now, I'gad, ha ? for to go off hip-hop, hip-hop, upon this occafion, is a thoufand times better than any Conclufion in the world, I'gad. Johnf. Indeed, M r . Bayes, that hip-hop, in this place, as you fay, does a very great deal. Bayes. O , all in all, Sir ? they are thefe little things that mar, or fet you off a Play ; as I remember once in a Play of mine, I fet off a Scene, I'gad, beyond expectation, only with a Petticoat, and the Belly-ake. Smith. Pray h o w was that Sir ? Bayes. W'hy, Sir, I contriv'd a Petticoat to be brought in upon a Chair (no body knew how) into a Prince's Chamber, whofe Father was not to fee it, that came in by chance. Johnf Gou's-my-Life, that was a notable Contrivance indeed. Smith. Ay, but M r . Bayes, h o w could you contrive the Bellv-ake ? Bayes. T h e eafieft i'th' World, I'gad : LI! tell you how, I made the Prince fit down upon the Fetticoat, no more than fo, and pretended to ins Father that he had jail then got the Belly-ake; whereupon his Father went out to call a Phyfician, and his M a n run away with the Petticoat. Smith. Well, and what followed upon that ? Bayes. Nothing, no earthly thing, I vow to gad. Johnf O n m y word, M r . Bayes there you hit it. "Bayes. Yes, it gave a world of Content. And then I paid 'em away befides; for it made them all talk ha, ha, ha, beailly, downright Bawdry upon the Stage, I'gad, ha, ha, ha ; but with an infinite deal of Wit, that I muft fay. „ , ' The R E H E A R S A L . 39 Johnf. That, ay, that, we know well enough, can never fail you. Bayes. N o , I'gad,* can't it. Come bring in the Dance, [Exit to call the Players*. Smith. N o w , the Devil take thee for a filly, confident unnatural, fulfome Rogue. Enter Bayes and Players. Bayes. Pray dance well before thefe Gentlemen ; you are commonly fo lazy, but you fhould be light and eafy, tah, tah, tali. [All the while they dance, Bayes puts ''em out with teaching them. Well, Gentlemen, you'll fee this Dance, if I a m not de-ceiv'd, take very well upon the Stage, when they are perfect in their Motions, and all that. Smith. I don't know h o w 'twill take, Sir ; but I a m fure you fweat hard for't. Bayes. Ay, Sir, it cofts m e more pains and trouble to do thefe tilings, than almoft tiie things are worth. Smith. By m y troth, I think fo, Sir. Bayes. Not for the things themfelves ; for I could Write you, Sir, forty of 'em in a day : but, I'gad, thefe Players are fuch dull Perfons, that if a M a n be not by 'em upon every point, and at every turn, I'gad, they'll miftake jou, Sir, and fpoil all. Enter a Player. What, is the Funeral ready ? Play. Yes, Sir. Bayes. A n d is the Lance fill'd with Wine ? Play. Sir, 'tis juft n o w a doing. Bayes. Stay then, I'll do it myfelf. Smith. Come, let's go with him. Bayes. A match. But M r . Johnfon, I'gad, I a m not like other Perfons ; they care not what becomes of their things, fo they can but get Money for 'em : now, I'gad, when I write, if it be not juft as it fhould be in every Cir-cumilance, to every Particular, I'gad ; I a m no more able to endure it, I a m not myieif, I'm out of m y Wits, and all that; I'm the ftrangeft Perfon in the whole World'? For what care I for Money ? I write for Reputation. [Exeunt. A C T |